Senator John McCain and his adorable side kick Sarah declare that the surge has been a success and we are winning the war in Iraq. Really? How is that determined? By the absence of violence? Wasn't there a greater absence of violence when Saddam was alive and in control?
Using that as a litmus test for success, I guess we should install a dictatorship (dang, the best guy for the job was hung) or better yet we can surge the hell out of them and make sure our investment gets paid in oil--maybe Dick Cheney could stay on to see it through.
No, success is when the Iraqi people make a collective choice to do what is right. That will not be known until the American presence is no longer restoring security by brute force. Only then will we know that their hearts and minds have grasped the ideology of tolerance and democracy.
So what has the surge shown of their hearts and minds?
The other day an Iraqi high ranking officer was being recorded by western media as he berated a junior officer. His diatribe was that the junior officer was soft and had to work harder. The senior Officer screamed that if this junior Officer found a "terrorist," in a home--he was to destroy that home and its occupants, if in a community--he was to rip apart the entire neighborhood, and if in a village--he was to obliterate the entire village until not even a fly knew what had once been there.
Is this progress? Is this what we are proud that our surge has done in Iraq? I don't think so. Perhaps it has worked in other areas of Iraqi society. But that is something that neither Senator McCain nor Senator Obama can know as armed outsiders looking in. To say otherwise is like proclaiming your undying love when some woman is demanding you love her at the point of a gun. With the muzzle held to your temple, it's just a little difficult to be genuine about your sentiments for her. Iraq has that muzzle held to its temple and who knows what it is collectively thinking despite whatever platitudes are coming from its mouth. Only time will tell when we are long gone. So in the interest of discovery, let's give them the best shot we can and get the heck out of Dodge.
Loren M. Lambert
September 14, 2008 Copyright
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
George Bush With Lipstick and a Bigger Vocabulary
Sarah Palin is a scary thing. She does not represent the new Republican party. She's still more of the same, but she's pretty and has a bigger vocabulary than G.W. Nevertheless, if you listened closely to her acceptance speech, she made it clear that she has the same disdain for the law (". . . [Obama's] worried that someone won't read them their rights) and basic human rights, the same disregard for the environment (drill, drill, drill, drill until the sun don't shine--not a quote but a paraphrase--not that we shouldn't but that we should act with prudence), the same adherence to old school diplomacy (“Obama wants to meet them without preconditions) and the same lust for everything that unfettered corporate greed can give her and the American elite (yes, she did support the billion-dollar-boondoggle-bridge to a small island where it would have been less expensive buying a Lear Jet for each inhabitant).
[But on the other hand she is the governor of the biggest state in the union (population 685,000 about a fourth of Utah's population) just like Dick Cheney was the something or another from the State with the most jackrabbits per capitat (about six for every citizen of Alaska--I know I counted them).]
That's why she was selected--she is the stealth Bush in effeminate slick skin. And it is not Obama's alleged silver tongue that the American people need to be wary of, it is the wolf in the fashion model's clothing.
Bush talks like a babbling idiot because of the old adage, garbage in, garbage out. Obama is well spoken because his superior talent as a public speaker is backed up by a brilliant mind and a wise intellect. Palin, on the other hand, is well thought of because, as John Cougar Mellencamp has sung, "when those crazy nights come callin', she can dance on the table like all of the rest." And that's after having five kids, tramping the Alaskan outback, shooting a heavy caliber rifle, overhauling a snow mobile engine and mixing it up with all the high rolling oil barons of Prudhoe Bay. What G.W. loving old Republican can resist that? Not a one--especially with all that viagra Bod Dole has hocked.
Let's just hope that the American people can, because as my mother always warned me, while you can take her to bed with you after the big dance, will she be there for you when the hurricane hits and the gray hairs set in?
Well, just like G.W. wasn't, neither will she. No, you'll see their swiftly retreating behinds taking refuge in an Exxon hunting resort away from the prying eyes of the American public.
Loren M. Lamber (Copywrite September 12, 2008)
[But on the other hand she is the governor of the biggest state in the union (population 685,000 about a fourth of Utah's population) just like Dick Cheney was the something or another from the State with the most jackrabbits per capitat (about six for every citizen of Alaska--I know I counted them).]
That's why she was selected--she is the stealth Bush in effeminate slick skin. And it is not Obama's alleged silver tongue that the American people need to be wary of, it is the wolf in the fashion model's clothing.
Bush talks like a babbling idiot because of the old adage, garbage in, garbage out. Obama is well spoken because his superior talent as a public speaker is backed up by a brilliant mind and a wise intellect. Palin, on the other hand, is well thought of because, as John Cougar Mellencamp has sung, "when those crazy nights come callin', she can dance on the table like all of the rest." And that's after having five kids, tramping the Alaskan outback, shooting a heavy caliber rifle, overhauling a snow mobile engine and mixing it up with all the high rolling oil barons of Prudhoe Bay. What G.W. loving old Republican can resist that? Not a one--especially with all that viagra Bod Dole has hocked.
Let's just hope that the American people can, because as my mother always warned me, while you can take her to bed with you after the big dance, will she be there for you when the hurricane hits and the gray hairs set in?
Well, just like G.W. wasn't, neither will she. No, you'll see their swiftly retreating behinds taking refuge in an Exxon hunting resort away from the prying eyes of the American public.
Loren M. Lamber (Copywrite September 12, 2008)
Friday, August 29, 2008
We Are All Olympians
I love the Olympics. I relish the opportunity they give for the whole world to unite and celebrate the excellence of human athletic achievement and prowess. Despite there somewhat militaristic feel, I loved the Beijing Olympics. They chose as their theme "One World, One Dream." To emphasize this theme, Beijing made the symbol of the circle a prominent aspect in its ceremonies.
It was fitting. I related to it because all things come full circle. We start off first helpless, drooling and dependent. We then grow into maturity watching the nations great athletes strut out onto the world stage and we all dream and believe that we too can some day join them. While young we practice, toil and sacrifice with no experiences suggesting to our youthful exuberance that an Olympic berth is beyond our reach. When life then passes us by with no realization of this dream, it fades as we confront our mortality, and then once again we become helpless, drooling and dependent. Luckily though, just before abject senescence takes hold, in some mysterious trick of the aging mind, this dream springs back to life.
Similarly, as a boy and then a young man, when I watched the Olympics, I saw myself as one of them, worthy to compete at an international level both physically and mentally. I trained rigorously in my chosen sport of kayaking. I reached a level of expertise that was commendable, but my Olympic dream was never realized. Much later as time passed I came to acknowledge that I never really had what it took to be an Olympian--which was true, most of us don't--but don't tell me that, not now.
Because as more time has passed, I also have finally come full circle. I have devolved back to that more innocent state when as a youth I saw myself as an Olympian. I have forgotten how hard it was and how superior others were who had been blessed with more perfect physical abilities. Now, with my halcyon rose-colored middle-aged mindset and with the help of Olympic athletes like 41 year old Dara Torres, I can watch the Olympics and not just think I could have been an Olympian--I know I could have. Forget the fact that my athleticism was never all that stellar when I was even at my peek. No. I now surmise if only I had just been given the right opportunities, I too would have been an Olympian. I too could have been there on the world stage toiling against all the odds and triumphing in the end.
And that's the other reason I love the Olympics. I love them because I can even more indulgently imagine, if just for a moment, without the need to act upon that dream, that I too am an Olympian.
Loren M. Lambert
September 25, 2008 Copyright
It was fitting. I related to it because all things come full circle. We start off first helpless, drooling and dependent. We then grow into maturity watching the nations great athletes strut out onto the world stage and we all dream and believe that we too can some day join them. While young we practice, toil and sacrifice with no experiences suggesting to our youthful exuberance that an Olympic berth is beyond our reach. When life then passes us by with no realization of this dream, it fades as we confront our mortality, and then once again we become helpless, drooling and dependent. Luckily though, just before abject senescence takes hold, in some mysterious trick of the aging mind, this dream springs back to life.
Similarly, as a boy and then a young man, when I watched the Olympics, I saw myself as one of them, worthy to compete at an international level both physically and mentally. I trained rigorously in my chosen sport of kayaking. I reached a level of expertise that was commendable, but my Olympic dream was never realized. Much later as time passed I came to acknowledge that I never really had what it took to be an Olympian--which was true, most of us don't--but don't tell me that, not now.
Because as more time has passed, I also have finally come full circle. I have devolved back to that more innocent state when as a youth I saw myself as an Olympian. I have forgotten how hard it was and how superior others were who had been blessed with more perfect physical abilities. Now, with my halcyon rose-colored middle-aged mindset and with the help of Olympic athletes like 41 year old Dara Torres, I can watch the Olympics and not just think I could have been an Olympian--I know I could have. Forget the fact that my athleticism was never all that stellar when I was even at my peek. No. I now surmise if only I had just been given the right opportunities, I too would have been an Olympian. I too could have been there on the world stage toiling against all the odds and triumphing in the end.
And that's the other reason I love the Olympics. I love them because I can even more indulgently imagine, if just for a moment, without the need to act upon that dream, that I too am an Olympian.
Loren M. Lambert
September 25, 2008 Copyright
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Mark Spitz, Way Greater Than Michael Phelps
Some people naively think that Michael Phelps is a greater athlete than Mark Spitz. This is obviously not true. Why? Mark Spitz did it with a mustache, a feat little men like Michael Phelps can only dream about. I remember it so vividly, he was standing there with his seven gold medals and a full head of hair and a mustache in his red, white and blue--for a moment he was as great as the Beatles. And not just some well-trimmed, thin, pencil mustache of the hip-hop generation, but a full grown, bushy banner and anthem probably inspired by the Woodstock summer of peace and love. As wind tunnel after wind tunnel have shown, a mustache creates almost as much drag as a National Geographic wind sock. So, here's to you Mark Spitz, the only Olympic swimmer that will ever win seven gold medals in the same Olympics while sporting a psychedelic Sergeant-Pepper's-Lonely-Hearts-Club-Band mustache.
Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 20, 2008
Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 20, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Where In the World is Captain Porter
Below is a response I emailed to one of my conservative acquaintances challenging what I suspect is a bogus email authored by a "Captain Porter" that maligns Senator Obama. I submit the same challenge to all you Obama detractors (except for the money part). Bring me this Captain Porter. I have left her email address off to protect the guilty since I don't want her to get bombarded with to much favorable Obama information. It might dampen her enthusiasm for the chain-email rumor-mill.
Dear Barbara,
I know you are very conservative, very religious and a staunch republican and I actually find a lot of your emails to be insightful. I am a pragmatist and have ideas and beliefs that would be considered both conservative and liberal. I do not vilify those of different mind and respect differences of opinion. Even knowing that I may offend you and lose your business, sometimes one must take a stand.
I would highly doubt that this email letter from Cpt. Porter is authentic. Have you been able to authenticate it?
Moreover, just so you know, I whole heartedly support Senator Obama. I think he is brilliant and has superior judgment. Moreover, if it weren't for people like him, you wouldn't have many of the benefits that you yourself have had to rely upon at difficult times in your life.
Be careful what you get that purports to be real and not a "fake." Don't be naive. Anything like this can be drafted up and sent around by many a crackpot. I challenge you to track down this Cpt. Porter. Let's make a deal, you track him down and prove he is a real person who was really there when this allegedly happened and I'll donate $50 to John McCain (who I highly admire and who would be a great improvement over Pres. Bush who has been a disaster) and if you can't, you donate $30 to the Obama campaign. Deal?
I think that spreading such stuff, even if done innocently, is being a bearer of false witness and is a violation of one of the most revered Christian ethics not to bear false witness.
I also find it in such poor taste that it comes with an ad to buy beauty products. You should know better.
Good luck on under taking my challenge.
Just so you are aware, I have read and listened to many reports delivered by reporters and others who were not a part of the Obama entourage who have far greater credibility than your, most likely fictional, "Cpt. Porter," about similar crackpot emails and messages being sent around .
Even if we don't agree, I admire your zeal.
Sincerely Loren M. Lambert
From: barbara jolley
Sent: Monday, August 11, 2008 10:18 AMTo: . . .
Subject: FW: From Afghanistan
Subject: From Afghanistan
Thought this was compelling enough to pass around.
Hello everyone, As you know I am not a very political person. I just wanted to pass alongthat Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visitto "The War Zone". I wanted to share with you what happened. He got off theplane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with theMajor General (2 Star) who is the commander here at Bagram. As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and didn'tsay a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As hefinished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tentthat military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) sohe could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunnedthe opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service. So really he was just here to make a showing for the American's back homethat he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going tomake an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that areproviding the freedom that they are providing for you.I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the DallasCowboy Cheerleaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be thePresident of the United States . I just don't understand how anyone wouldwant him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared tobe around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country. If this is blunt and to the point I am sorry but I wanted you all to knowwhat kind of caliber of person he really is. What you see in the news is allfake. In service, CPT Jeffrey S. Porter Battle Captain TF Wasatch American Soldier
Dear Barbara,
I know you are very conservative, very religious and a staunch republican and I actually find a lot of your emails to be insightful. I am a pragmatist and have ideas and beliefs that would be considered both conservative and liberal. I do not vilify those of different mind and respect differences of opinion. Even knowing that I may offend you and lose your business, sometimes one must take a stand.
I would highly doubt that this email letter from Cpt. Porter is authentic. Have you been able to authenticate it?
Moreover, just so you know, I whole heartedly support Senator Obama. I think he is brilliant and has superior judgment. Moreover, if it weren't for people like him, you wouldn't have many of the benefits that you yourself have had to rely upon at difficult times in your life.
Be careful what you get that purports to be real and not a "fake." Don't be naive. Anything like this can be drafted up and sent around by many a crackpot. I challenge you to track down this Cpt. Porter. Let's make a deal, you track him down and prove he is a real person who was really there when this allegedly happened and I'll donate $50 to John McCain (who I highly admire and who would be a great improvement over Pres. Bush who has been a disaster) and if you can't, you donate $30 to the Obama campaign. Deal?
I think that spreading such stuff, even if done innocently, is being a bearer of false witness and is a violation of one of the most revered Christian ethics not to bear false witness.
I also find it in such poor taste that it comes with an ad to buy beauty products. You should know better.
Good luck on under taking my challenge.
Just so you are aware, I have read and listened to many reports delivered by reporters and others who were not a part of the Obama entourage who have far greater credibility than your, most likely fictional, "Cpt. Porter," about similar crackpot emails and messages being sent around .
Even if we don't agree, I admire your zeal.
Sincerely Loren M. Lambert
From: barbara jolley
Sent: Monday, August 11, 2008 10:18 AMTo: . . .
Subject: FW: From Afghanistan
Subject: From Afghanistan
Thought this was compelling enough to pass around.
Hello everyone, As you know I am not a very political person. I just wanted to pass alongthat Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visitto "The War Zone". I wanted to share with you what happened. He got off theplane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with theMajor General (2 Star) who is the commander here at Bagram. As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and didn'tsay a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As hefinished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tentthat military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) sohe could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunnedthe opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service. So really he was just here to make a showing for the American's back homethat he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going tomake an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that areproviding the freedom that they are providing for you.I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the DallasCowboy Cheerleaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be thePresident of the United States . I just don't understand how anyone wouldwant him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared tobe around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country. If this is blunt and to the point I am sorry but I wanted you all to knowwhat kind of caliber of person he really is. What you see in the news is allfake. In service, CPT Jeffrey S. Porter Battle Captain TF Wasatch American Soldier
Thursday, August 14, 2008
MonaVie, As Good Looking As You Think It Is
MonaVie? Great tasting, rejuvenating juice in an expensive snake skin bottle--almost as good as the juice I just squeezed from the exotic and anti-aging producing service berry picked in the scrub oak jungles of Heber City, Utah. I'm selling it to the Brazilians in titanium capsules so I can charge three times more than MonaVie. I just need an aging Olympian to hock it. Henry Marsh, MonaVie CEO? Great inspiring runner now saddled in a snake skin suit sipping MonaVie bug juice on top of the supper pyramid making us all wish we were up there feeling as awesome and youthful as all them face-lifted, tanned, lipo suctioned high rollers. Ah, the glories of fad trademarking. So, here's a service berry toast to you, my hero Henry Marsh--and it didn't cost me a dime but then again I don't have an expensive looking bottle to put in my window to remind me of the good times when I sipped myself into bankruptcy drinking MonaVie without even an once of alcohol in it to make it worth the price and worthy of a reason for insanity.
Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 14, 3008
Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 14, 3008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Russia Delayed Reflex
Surprise. Russia invades Georgia, like the reflex of an old man--something its been itching to do for a long time but cunningly waited until the world's leaders were safely being entertained by their adorable and amazing athletes in the Olympics. During commercial breaks our leaders take time to weigh in with their displeasure.
Their ears to the tube, Sean Hannity and other right wingers try to rank the condemnations thereon. They claim President Bush has won the gold in world record rhetoric, Senator McCain a close silver with a nicely clinched jaw and poor Senator Obama claimed the bronze, bringing up rear with dreams of peace talks.
So how do the Georgians rank them? Words of condemnation, clinched jaws and hopes of peace talks are not going to put out the fires on their burning houses, are not going to stay the boots pressed against their charred heads and will not bring their children back from the dead nor save those who will die in the days to come. So they rank them with their tears, their pain and their coffins. Knowing, as the Russians know that--
It's simply a fight we have no stomach for at this time. Without Bush, McCain or Obama empowered or willing to do anything but mutter for the cameras, we can only hope that God will soften the Russians' hearts and thereby grant us guilt-free Olympic golds.
Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 12, 2008
Their ears to the tube, Sean Hannity and other right wingers try to rank the condemnations thereon. They claim President Bush has won the gold in world record rhetoric, Senator McCain a close silver with a nicely clinched jaw and poor Senator Obama claimed the bronze, bringing up rear with dreams of peace talks.
So how do the Georgians rank them? Words of condemnation, clinched jaws and hopes of peace talks are not going to put out the fires on their burning houses, are not going to stay the boots pressed against their charred heads and will not bring their children back from the dead nor save those who will die in the days to come. So they rank them with their tears, their pain and their coffins. Knowing, as the Russians know that--
It's simply a fight we have no stomach for at this time. Without Bush, McCain or Obama empowered or willing to do anything but mutter for the cameras, we can only hope that God will soften the Russians' hearts and thereby grant us guilt-free Olympic golds.
Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 12, 2008
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