There is Enough

There is enough if things are done with order. There is enough for all if all things are done with order. Right here, right now, right as things are at this time.

Comment 1: Mark Gammell And all it will take is a totalitarian global government that can control every aspect of everyone's lives.

Comment 2: Loren M. Lambert Dear @Mark, no, of course not--where is your faith? A man looking for the worst in everyone will always find it even when he looks at his own reflection--don't linger too long before the mirror--or better yet, maybe you should and then be the change in the world that you expect from everyone else--D&C 104:17 For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves. (God did not say there will be enough if, he said there is enough and to spare. Do you believe that?) Mosiah 4:27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order. (God did not say to race forward with no thought, with no plan, with no consideration of the wisdom of your actions, he said to not run faster than our strength, than our foresight. Yet we must be diligent and all things must be done in order. Do you believe that? No totalitarian government--whether local, regional, national, global or whether sectarian or secular would ever be the right answer.

Loren M. Lambert © May 21, 2014

Male Genitalia, Female Mamary Glands and Leftie Conspiracies Abound or Can You Sail Under the Suggestion of a Pirate or Can You Not?

So you know, many would accuse me of being exploitive and unnecessarily sensational for what I’m about to say and they would be dead to rights yet I couldn’t think of a better analogy.

My psychologist friends would be familiar with this malady that I came to witness when a potential client, years ago, wanted to sue his/her employer for sexual harassment and for creating a sexually hostile work environment.

His/her complaint was that his/her supervisors and co-workers were almost constantly and without remorse or any sense of circumspection literally flooding the work place with graphic and visual depictions of the male genitalia and female mammary glands. To impress upon my mind the vast extent of this prurient depravity, he proceeded to extract from the tripple - layered plastic Wal-mart grocery sacks he substituted for a suitcase and multipurpose filing cabinet, numerous photographs of the offending materials.

While a few photographs seemed, if viewed at a great distance through cataracts, to resemble these less frequently viewed and most cherished and at the same time reviled body parts, it soon became evident that if this poor soul’s coworker had vomited up a pile of glass shards or had accidentally crushed an arm in a metal press, he/she would have, therein envisioned depicted, all the sensual carnalities ever imagined by men (and a few women), and enough breasts and penises for use by all the world's cosmetic plastic surgeons for time and all eternity to emulate as worthy models in their artisian surgeries.

This person’s chronic mental health condition was not unlike the same condition that beset the early explorers, who, mostly male, the further along on their journeys in time and geography they got, started naming all mountain formations after females and their body parts. One notable example are the Grand Tetons, a frence name, which in English would be the Grand Tits or Grand Breasts or Grand Mammary Glands. (We need to reciprocate and see if one of the French Alps could be named the Grand Tits and see if that sounds as neat to them as the Grand Tetons do to us).

In the same vein, just as this past potential client of mine tended to see male genitalia and female mamary glands in all he/she saw, some of my conservative friends, for some reason, somehow see every idea, comment or breath from someone who does not bear the Fox News or Glen Beck conservative stamp of approval as a leftie conspiracy to bring upon them the totalitarian apocalypse.

Case in point, I made a recent post below that was about littering and it was deemed proof of a leftie conpiracy. Polluting and littering are not liftie, liberal, or progressive issues. It’s littering. It's polluting. Both are forms of theft that steal our money not in an in-your-face robbery but an after-the-fact embezzlement. This post concerned three post-prubescent girls littering up Big Cottonwood Canyon. So you know, I hate it just a much when I see slobs at Gold’s leave their water bottles, packaging and used Q-tips on the floor, or those who go to games with their fat spouses (or skinny) and pack of loud (or quiet) brats and leave all their trash behind in the stadium. I go out of my way to pick up trash at Golds and other places because they too are sacred to me, just like the canyons are, even though they are privately owned.

I don’t want to spend my money on higher taxes, higher gym fees or higher game ticket fees (or higher private park entrance fees) because other slobs and their progeny want other people to pick up their garbage. I don’t want to spend money on cleaning up a world that is suffocating under our filth because we can’t get our scat together to begin with. Why isn’t that every bodies issue? Why is it a liftie issue?

Maybe it is just because I am the messenger. After all I am a Pirate and not a card carrying conservative. But don’t let me get in the way of my message. Yes, and regarding my post below, the simultaneous thought and comment that I and my fellow Pirate (Mansour Aryazand) had was that the littering Bimbos may have hucked their garbage (while they thought they were out of sight) possibly to spite us because I had earlier suggested they had accidentally dropped their garbage and got them to pick it up. And I, in fact, have met lots of stupid, ignorant people who when called on their crap–whether it’s slobbish, repulsive, rude, ignorant or criminal behavior, will simply engage in additional stupid behavior just to spite the world. But should that stop us from pointing out the wrongs we see and trying to change it? Let’s face it, it’s hard to figure out a way to get through to such people but get through we must.

So, borrowing and paraphrasing the words of my fellow favorite and famous Pirate, Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of the Caribbean:

“The only rules that really matter are these: what a people can do and what a people can't do. For instance, you can accept that your fellow sojourners here are pirates and yet still capable of much good or you can't. But pirate is in your blood and that of your fellow men, boy/girl, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you all be stupid and soil your bed, but I can't bring this earth into the next century all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you and those you associate with stop polluting and throwing all your junk around and sail under the suggestion of a pirate, or can you not?"

Loren M. Lambert © May 27, 2014

You Get What You Pay For-Or, Why Revenge In Some Circumstances Would Be Sweet

I must confess revenge is on my mind. It would be just, and would send the right message.

After a rejuvenating, epic and completely exhausting hike up Mount Raymond with my friend Mansour, we arrived at our car at 7 pm, parked in the S-Curve parking lot up Big Cottonwood Canyon. I had run out of water coming down and retrieved the extra water from my car that I had brought. The hike was up a trail, Mill B North Fork, that few travel which wound its way past jagged cliffs, verdant forest and crystal clear water falls. It seemed a rare part of our mountains that was unspoiled and unmarred by trash and over use.

Standing at the side of my car as I gulped down the water, 3 attractive, barely post-pubescent females--two blonde Caucasians and an African American--soon to reveal themselves as stupid bimbos--drove into the lot in a sleek, shiny, new red Volvo Convertible. They strategically parked so they could enjoy the stunningly beautiful canyon as the sun was descending deep into the western sky. They were having a meal of pizza, bread sticks and soda. One of them casually threw some garbage out onto the ground next to them.

Every now and then I just can’t refrain from calling out peoples’ irresponsibility. So, I yelled, “Hey, you dropped something.” They tried to ignore me, but after several more suggestions that they pick it up, one of them eventually, without opening the door, jumped out and picked it up. Mission accomplished?

I’ve lived in Spain a year while enrolled in the University of Seville. I loved my experience there and the Spanish people and culture. One thing though really bugged me. Although everyone’s houses seemed to be spotless, it seemed that when out and about, most everyone always threw all their garbage on the ground. In fact their roadsides and open country were veritable junkyards.

Whenever, out, or in the county you had to watch your step and often hold your nose. When I’d be walking with my Spanish friends, they would often unwrap candy, popsicles or store items and throw their trash on the street, even if a garbage can was in throwing reach. I got fed up. So, in a very theatrical manner, emphatically telegraphing visually and orally my intentions and actions, I would litter. I would announce, “Gee, I have some garbage. What should I do? Hmmmm? I think I’ll throw it on the ground even though there is a garbage receptacle I am dangling this garbage over this very second.” Then I throw it on the ground. I did this several times with a few of my friends.

They scolded me. I asked them why they scolded me when I watched them do the same many times. There response was: “We can litter but since you’re an American from the U.S., you can’t. Besides, it gives work for the poor.” I asked, “wouldn’t you rather spend money on other things than having poor people pick up your garbage?” “What else would they do?” they asked. I explained that people will adjust to do whatever they need to and if your only aspiration for the poor was that they picked up your street garbage then that is what you would end up with–a country full of those that unnecessarily created garbage and those that cleaned it up. My friends in Spain did not thereafter litter, at least not that I knew about.

I also touted to them my home town’s cleanliness, that I had been taught to leave things better than I found them, and that we had pristine garbage-free forests and mountains. Sadly, today we too are becoming like my Spanish friends and leaving our canyons and roadsides a mess.

So, back to the three post pubescent females. At the end of their meal, the three started up their convertible, gunned it out of the parking lot and when they thought they were out of view, heaved all of their garbage onto the road. Such conduct outrages me because there is no excuse. I don’t want to pay people to pick up garbage. I want to pay for improvements in our infrastructure and other more important things, I don’t want a Utah that looks like the Spanish country side, full of rotting trash. Please, if this is what you, your friends, your family or your acquaintances do, don’t, and encourage those you know not to.

Furthermore, there couldn’t be too many new, red volvo convertibles in the Salt Lake Valley that these littering bimbos have access to. So, if you know these three, please introduce me, because I’d like bring my trash and throw it into their homes, because that is what Utah’s public lands are to me, they are my home, they are precious and I cherish them. Or, since I suspect if I had been some young male they wanted to impress, they would not have littered. If you are such a person, kindly tell them this behavior is inappropriate.

Otherwise the revenge of trashing their home would be just and sweet because they need to understand that our public lands are our legacy and heritage. There is simply no excuse for those who drive into our canyons to enjoy their beauty and who then trash them on their way out.

Loren M. Lambert © May 26, 2014

The VA's Most Recent Scandal

I'm currently litigating against the VA. Like the current scandal rocking the VA, the suit concerns a lack of leadership. The scandal and my case are admittedly partially due one of the failings in government services.

But at its core I think is this issue: many who fill leadership roles at the VA are retired military personnel, who should certainly have a calling and affinity for the veterans they serve, but who are collecting a government pension along with their salaries. I anecdotally wonder if they view the VA as a cushy retirement club to make a little pocket change and are complacent about their work. This appears to have been the attitude of some I have encountered in my research of my case.

When I was in the military, it often appeared that the twenty year retirement, all or nothing plan, created a lot of perversity in the ranks when getting to twenty became, more important than what was the best for the country. One of the bad examples in this litigation instructed his charges on the benefits and virtues of "triple dipping," that is, collecting both a military and VA retirement and then receiving consulting fees by working for a government contractor.

Maybe that system should change. Just a thought.

Loren M. Lambert © May 24, 2014

Syrian's Medical Professionals--A Light To the World And An Embarrassment To US Doctors

Recent news reports regarding Syrian Medical Professionals reveal that many have been tortured and murdered by Bashar al-Assad's regime and by the rebels for no other reason than providing care to any one injured by the war. Yet still many vow to continue saving lives as long as possible.

Recent news reports regarding the United States Medical Professionals suggest the some American Health care providers (mostly doctors) fear their revenues will drop if they provide care to medicare and medicaid patients and if the Health Care Act continues as the law of the land. As a result a few threaten to retire early. It's such a hard existence living in a democracy under the rule of law.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/09/13/us-syria-crisis-health-idUSBRE98C0NG20130913

Loren M. Lambert © May 15, 2014

The Smell of Babies (A New Perfume by Burberry)

Study found that the smell of newborn babies lights up the female brain in same area that is lit up by chocolate. As a result, many procreation minded religions are banning chocolate from their congregation's diet.

In a related study, it was found that the smell of newborn babies lights up the male brain in same area that is lit up while mowing the lawn or heading off to hunt rabbits. As a result, many procreation minded religions are banning men from doing anything--which they then realized they were already doing.

Loren M. Lambert © May 14, 2014

The Sage Brush Repellent Rebellion

One person's act of civil disobedience is another person's opportunity for a good lower bowl cleanse.

Loren M. Lambert © May 13, 2014