The Utah Legislature, showing us they can “bring it,” have given us another set of siege-mentality laws:
1) The Abstinence-Only Sex Education Law
Here's why it’s dumb: Even prior to the over-sexed Disney channel and the internet, all the kids I knew were not encouraged to have sex. The reason was not because they knew what a condom or the pill was, but because the story about Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit “did them in,” or kept them abstinent (it just depended on what they wanted to get out of it – like many things in life).
Our sex education was amply supplied by the procreative prowess of family pets, a grainy movie on childbirth, and crude diagrams of genitalia that the instructors never got around to explain, about the “teamwork” that went on between each gender’s genitalia, but we all kind of knew by then. As far as homework, it still all boiled down to what kids’ parents taught them at home and what the kids decided they would listen to.
But the dumb, with dumb parents, need the full-monty education–teaching abstinence, and if that fails, then birth control and protection. Why? Because kids are going to have sex and they are not going to be protected. This is really the "We Want More Dumb Kids In Utah" law, not the "Abstinence-Only Sex Ed" law (yes I know, I know a few of you got knocked up in high school, and you're my friends, but still it was pretty stupid most the time).
2) Criminalization of the filming of Farm Animals Law
I guess Utah is worried that word might spread that ranchers raise chickens, cows, and pigs in unethically, closely confined spaces and then kill and slaughter them. This is actually happening in our “Life-Elevated” state at this very moment! If you doubt this, then exercise a little faith in facts, because the cowboy caucus does not want this secret getting out and tarnishing Utah’s good name. You want proof? That will give you time and cost you a fine.
Loren M. Lambert © March 9, 2012
1) The Abstinence-Only Sex Education Law
Here's why it’s dumb: Even prior to the over-sexed Disney channel and the internet, all the kids I knew were not encouraged to have sex. The reason was not because they knew what a condom or the pill was, but because the story about Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit “did them in,” or kept them abstinent (it just depended on what they wanted to get out of it – like many things in life).
Our sex education was amply supplied by the procreative prowess of family pets, a grainy movie on childbirth, and crude diagrams of genitalia that the instructors never got around to explain, about the “teamwork” that went on between each gender’s genitalia, but we all kind of knew by then. As far as homework, it still all boiled down to what kids’ parents taught them at home and what the kids decided they would listen to.
But the dumb, with dumb parents, need the full-monty education–teaching abstinence, and if that fails, then birth control and protection. Why? Because kids are going to have sex and they are not going to be protected. This is really the "We Want More Dumb Kids In Utah" law, not the "Abstinence-Only Sex Ed" law (yes I know, I know a few of you got knocked up in high school, and you're my friends, but still it was pretty stupid most the time).
2) Criminalization of the filming of Farm Animals Law
I guess Utah is worried that word might spread that ranchers raise chickens, cows, and pigs in unethically, closely confined spaces and then kill and slaughter them. This is actually happening in our “Life-Elevated” state at this very moment! If you doubt this, then exercise a little faith in facts, because the cowboy caucus does not want this secret getting out and tarnishing Utah’s good name. You want proof? That will give you time and cost you a fine.
Loren M. Lambert © March 9, 2012
No comments:
Post a Comment