Big Texas Puts The Kibosh on Big Love and; Texas’ Latest National Export: Pre-Emptive Foster Parenting

Years ago, "Tex," a fellow river guide at the Teton Canoe Base, always proudly introduced himself as being from Texas where everything was Big except him. Tex’s Texas is still living up to that tradition. Big Texas gave us Big President Bush, who gave us a Big Pre-emptive War Policy, which gave us a Big Torture Policy, which gave us a Big Backlash with a Big Black Eye, which is ending in a Big Mess.

So, it should come as no surprise, that as a result of a Big Rosita Swinton Lie, the Texas Rangers, wearing their Big Cowboy Hats, driving their Big Assault Vehicles have created their own Big Pre-emptive War and have rounded up a Big Pack a’ Polygamist Kids so they could show how Big they were by putting the Big Kibosh on their Big Texas Love problem.

But unlike Texas, Tex, spry as he was, had a Big Heart who knew how to delicately handle difficult situations and most everybody liked him. He was the best thing ever to come out of Texas in many a decade. Where ever he is, let’s be grateful when Big Bush leaves the Big White House and goes on some endless Big Quail Hunt with Big Dick Cheney. And let’s hope that Little Tex returns to Big Texas, where everything is Big but him, and gives it his Big Texas Heart before Big Texas continues its Big Pre-emptive War against all the polygamist children which, despite Texas' Big Intentions, is guaranteed to create another Big Texas Mess.

Loren M. Lambert
© April 23, 2008

It is so ironic that the same State that through its emissary President Bush, brought us rendition, sanctioned torture, and pre-emptive war, has commenced another pre-emptive war. Over a century ago in Reynolds v. United States, the US Supreme Court upheld federal laws criminalizing the practice of polygamy and ruled that while beliefs are constitutionally protected, "offensive" practices were not. Now the Texas authorities are turning Reynolds on its head by reasoning that since all FLDS children are being brought up in polygamy, that this is tantamount to abuse and that all polygamist children will inevitably become abusers and victims. While it’s a tantalizing argument with some practical validity, in the US we have traditionally resisted punishing people because of what some well-meaning Cowboys in big hats thought someone might do. If this same logic was applied to all wayward parents who have in some respect found themselves on the wrong side of the law and would thereby pass on their unfavorable traits to their children, we should see the likes of Chelsea Clinton and more than a few Bush kids being shuffled off into foster homes.

Loren M. Lambert © April 23, 2008

"God's Chosen"

A local Christian Bible bookstore, at 7200 South State Street, has a street ad proclaiming, "Chosen By God, Get Use to it." I’m not exactly quite sure what this message means or what it has to do with selling Bibles or spreading the good word, but it doesn’t remotely sound like anything Christ would have said. What happened to, "Blessed are the poor . . . , the meek . . ., the merciful . . . , [and] the peacemakers . . . ?"

Many of the self-proclaimed, "God’s Chosen," rant on national television, with hate pulsing from their tumid temples, that God is inflicting Katrinas on the Nation’s wicked. To them I would ask, when the lowly Man of Grief, the Lamb of God roamed the quiet fields of Israel, did he damn the humble sinners or the "chosen" in their lofty seats of power?

And if his most harsh words were reserved for the latter, will God more severely condemn the misdeeds of the downtrodden and misguided or the many Christians in positions of influence who arrogantly assert that they are "God’s chosen" and who stand with their boots upon the necks of the meek beseeching, "get use to it?"

May I suggest that a more compelling pitch to sell Bibles would be, "Come, let us wash your weary feet, and help lighten your heavy burdens."

Loren M. Lambert
March 31, 2008 ©