The recent spying scandals rocking the U.S.A. have led me to wonder–is there anyone out there who, like me, finds the business of spying just a bit odd? If so, please raise your hand. I mean, on the one hand, in the name of national security, we use money, sex, ideology, addiction, power and promised fame to recruit spies to spy for us in every country on, and possibly off, the planet1. On the other hand, we zealously seek to deport, prosecute and sometimes fry spies recruited by money, sex, ideology, addiction, power and promised fame to spy on us.
Besides the fact that we, as a nation, are infallible (not because we are, but because our military and religious leaders say we are), and besides the fact that spying, especially during wartime, can lead to the loss of life, property and liberty, isn’t it all just a bit petty?
To put an end to this whole sordid, hypocritical business, we should take the profit out of spying by decriminalizing it between countries that are willing to adopt an "open spying policy," kind of like the old "open skies policy" attempted during the Cold War. If we caught an alien spying on us we could send him to Disneyland for a month, and if we caught one of our own spying on us, we could send him to visit Lenin’s tomb for a month, and vice versa.
This makes as much sense and decriminalizing illegal drugs. In fact, why don’t we just go on a decriminalization frenzy. Think of the money we’d save!
Loren M. Lambert
May 16, 2001 ©
1. So I’m told by my friends from Roswell, New Mexico.
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