Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Christmas Elf Chris Butters Wishes All A Merry Jihad!

Many may not know this, but Utah Senator Chris Buttars recently took a break from his duties as Gayle Ruzika and the Eagle Forums' whipping boy at the Utah state legislature to take a position as Head Elf at the North Pole. Yes, its true. What else could explain this switch from his usual endeavor to malign other people to his new urge to spread good cheer? Now many who were aware of this broke out in a short-lived celebration when, without resigning his position with Santa or removing his green tights, velvet jacket and pointy hat, he returned to Utah, marched to the State Capitol and declared that we are a "Christian nation and ought to use the word [merry Christmas]." Apparently, he wants to cash in on his cachet as an Elf and an elected official to pass a non-binding resolution to encourage Utah business owner to wish everyone a "merry Christmas."

Unfortunately, before Sen. Buttars could do this, a few mavericks in the Utah legislature passed a non-binding resolution of their own. It first reminded our rather good natured Christmas Elf Chris Butters that while Santa at the North Pole may demand that he and his fellow comrades pepper their greetings with "Merry Christmas," we cannot do the same here in the United States. No, it went on to state that while we may be viewed as a "Christian Nation," we are a multicultural and democratic nation and we invite people of all faiths, or of no faith, to worship how, when and where they choose, and to wish others a "merry" whatever or a "happy holiday." Lastly, it stated that, unlike the good old USA where we frown upon using government to force people to think, dress and talk in a way that favors a particular religion, it was proposed that when Sen. Buttars finished with his Christmas duties up North, he may want to look for employment in Iran where he can help that "Muslim Nation" make sure that its citizens, regardless of their faith, by pain of death, only wish people a "Merry Jihad" and not a, "Happy Holiday," or "Merry Christmas," and definitely not a "Happy Hannukka." This is only right, the resolution indicated, since after all Iran is a "Muslim Nation."

Loren M. Lambert
Copyright December 3, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Proposition 8--A Call for Compromise

The homosexual community desires the institution of "marriage" to regulate their unions. Contrarily, the conservative elements of our society, including the religious right, oppose extending to homosexuals this governmental formality. They argue that "marriage" should be reserved for monogamous, heterosexual couples; and fearing they are losing ground, they have sought legal reforms like the passage of Proposition 8 in California to stem the tide of the gay rights movement. This has set off a firestorm.

Before I wade into it, in the interest of full disclosure, let me acknowledge that I am decidedly a screaming heterosexual--somewhat partial to this word's latter part especially when paired with a joyous bit of conjugal crooning. Moreover, I am embarrassed to say (yes, frankly my natural orientation, my instincts and religious upbringing made it very psychologically distressing) that when not dreaming about heavenly messengers and Nirvana, I have had in my long life a rare homo erotic dream, as well as a few other non traditional ones, all from which I was relieved to wake up; I have also had several homosexual acquaintances, relatives and friends; a few more rabid homophobic cohorts, and I was once gay but that was about 157 lives ago when I just happened to be reincarnated as a Chichlid into a watery community that did not frown upon changing sexuality (and thereby orientation) but in fact encouraged it as a matter of survival (Google it). In short, I feel I am almost as qualified as anyone else to address this topic.

Now, before you suggest that I am making light of this very serious polemic, let me also state that I understand that traditionally marriage was a hallowed religious institution that governed the union of a woman and a man so that they could be bound together by love and mutual respect for the purpose (as suggested by some) of raising up children to pay taxes (and tithes), supply soldiers and heirs, and to render up the occasional wench or two for the Kings' sons and his royal knights. On the other hand, I am likewise fully aware that homophobia was also (and in some places still is) an insidious sentiment that has been encouraged by religious institutions that have tried to ensure the disunion of the human body from its frame. For these very reasons, while I am exceedingly partial to the former, (given that it worked for me when I grew up and my aunt swears I am a descendant of royal French lineage), I am decidedly against the latter--as I am all hatred and bigotry--and I therefore opine that perhaps, as we did with affirmative action, we need to go as far as practicable in the opposite direction. Similarly, let me also not hesitate to add that I am just as decidedly against vandalizing LDS churches or other similar forms of violent expression because of this faith's zealous support for Proposition 8.

As a compromise in the battle to expand the concept of marriage to include homosexual unions, some suggest that they should be granted the right to "civil unions." This concept is not wholly foreign to the law. Currently government allows groups of people, gay, straight or otherwise, to join together for common purposes to form corporations, limited liability companies, partnerships, etc (from Exxon to Playboy to RJ Reynolds, from Enron to Dr. Johns, and from McDonald's to Nevada's brothels). Even though they don't bring children into the world (at least not by definition), these business entities engage in all kinds of questionable and reprehensible acts (some that cause sufficient harm to be sanctioned by law and some that do not) and they are yet allowed great privileges and protections under the law which govern their formation, organizational structure, existence, and their dissolution.

The legal formalities establishing these business entities were created to bring order and civility to the many relationships that were being formed in the business world. For much the same reasons, "civil marriage" and "civil divorce" have been promulgated to establish order and consistency in the mechanisms that join men and women together to form a common household. Outside of "civil marriage," heterosexual couples may also marry in religious ceremonies that sometimes have additional moral restrictions and regulatory components not provided by law. For instance, some religions proscribe divorce. Hence, to comply with their sectarian vows, adherents to those religions are free, as their own consciences dictate, to eschew divorce and endure their difficult marriages. As we know, some religions allow homosexual unions and some vehemently do not. As citizens of the United States, we may embrace these different religious groups or shun them. It's a choice that should be celebrated by both sides of this issue. Of course, these religious "marriages" are not endowed with the legal benefits of a "civil marriage." And herein lies the controversy.

Under our Constitution, our law should, to the degree practicable, be blind to race, religion, color, disability, sex and even sexual orientation. Consequently, the differences between religious marital practices should not be propagated in our legal formulations. So what is the best remedy to harmonize the law so that it is both even handed and palatable to these disparate groups? Rather then getting bogged down in endless and irreconcilable discussions on nurture versus nature, the divine or traditional origins of marriage versus more humanistic or evolutionary beliefs, there are some constants at play in this controversy and some basic principles upon which question should be answered.

First, no amount of religious indoctrination nor legislation will change the reality that for reasons beyond some of our complete understanding (I will never claim to completely understand what it is to be a women or a homosexual, etc.), a small percentage of humanity will have homosexual unions. Second, before an activity or lifestyle is deemed to be sufficiently harmful to be proscribed by law, the harm it causes must amount to something more than just a religious based fear or an offense to religious beliefs and values. For instance, it is a specious argument that homosexuality will become so popular it will lead to our extinction as a species. (In fact, I suspect that this insipid argument was really born of the wishful thinking of house mice, gray whales, green peace advocates and Satyrs). Third, since Homosexual unions do not cause harm, they should not be proscribed nor limited by civil law.

Given these realities, the question becomes, if homosexual behavior should not be sanctioned by civil law, should it be allowed the same conventions as heterosexual couples in "marriage"? Again, the conservative and religious right argue that if homosexuals are granted civil marriages, it will decimate the traditional institution of marriage and weaken its strength, endurance and prevalence and lead to the deterioration of the basic, traditional family. Whether or not this argument has any merit, why does the homosexual community insist on appropriating for itself an institution that has been created and perpetuated by its historical oppressors? Why not allow the religious right the benefit of reserving the nomenclature of "marriage" for monogamous heterosexual couples?

On the other hand, as indicated above, instead of the laxity of free-wheeling, unregulated consensual unions, homosexual couples desire the order, institutionalized commitment and normalcy of "marriage," to regulate their unions. Furthermore, many gay rights advocates argue that they don't want something separate from "marriage." They suggest that accepting a compromise like "civil unions" would equate to segregation and would therefore, just like racial segregation, never really be "separate but equal." This argument is not wholly without merit. Under such a scheme, just as racial bias was institutionalized under the Jim Crow laws, homosexuals may simply find the historical prejudice against them being codified in the same manner. Nevertheless, for both sides of this issue, wouldn't some semblance of the institution of marriage be better than the status quo?

The needs of both parties could be satisfied as follows. First, the government shouldn't be in the "marriage" business at all. The institution of "marriage," that originated in religion should be relinquished back to religion. Let religious institutions do with it what ever they will. Instead, just as government has created regulations to establish different types of business entities to create order and normalcy in the business community, government should not license "marriages" but should only grant civil unions. These "civil unions" should be governed by current marital and divorce laws, or the government could create several different types of civil unions. This would thereby allow consenting adults, whether homosexual, heterosexual or asexual unions of convenience--just as people do for their businesses--the same right to choose the order and structure of the particular "civil union" they desire for their relationships. This would put gay unions on equal governmental footing with heterosexual "marriages." It would further allow the religious right to define "marriage" as each religious group sees fit.

This could possibly have a civilizing effect upon the unregulated unions of the gay culture that the religious right so drastically detests and fears. Maybe, heterosexual couples should take pride and find solace in the fact that due to the positive examples they have set displaying the benefits of "marriage," they have caused the homosexual community to desire those same benefits of community-acknowledged love, commitment and belonging. Isn't this a good thing? So why not open those benefits to all consenting adults and stem the round of "Propositions" that will surely befall us in the future with the waste of millions of dollars and tons of love-sapping emotional energy? Couldn't that money and emotional energy be better spent concentrating on devoting ourselves to those we have voluntarily chosen as our partners? Instead of disenfranchising a small minority from an institution it longs for, wouldn't the religious right be better off concentrating on setting such a stellar example of its position that it will become a clarion call for others to voluntarily embrace?

Loren Lambert
Copyright November 26, 2008

Friday, October 10, 2008

A Chicken In Every Pot, A [Volkswagon] In Every Garage

With his falling poll numbers, Senator McCain pulled out the stops and promised the American people that if he was elected he would ensure a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage. Or was it?

Wait, hold it. Now I remember correctly. No, it wasn't Senator McCain. He's not that small minded, he is a maverick. He's much more ambitious then that. What Senator McCain said at his second Presidential debate was, "I promise every American that the Federal Government will buy him or her a house to cook a chicken in and a garage to park their car in." Yeah, that was it.

It was President Herbert Hoover who in 1929 promised each American household the chicken and the car and it was Adolf Hitler who in the early 1930s promised all of Germany a KdF-Wagen [Volkswagen] for every family. And it worked. Hoover was elected President and thereby had the honor of escorting the American people into the great depression and Adolf Hitler was appointed Chancellor and promptly lead his country into the hell of the holocaust and into total war.

So, yes, Senator McCain continues to pull out all stops in his bid to gain the Presidency. Will he or will he not escort the American people into its second great economic crisis and into endless war in Iraq? It certainly does seem a possibility when he says it, for who better to promise to buy your vote and make it sound oh so patriotic and palatable? This is so because although a rose may smell as sweet when called any other name, a sick ploy to buy votes having come from a democrat would be smelled out for what it was -- a crock of s_ _ _ gilded with instant-gratification gold.

Open that up for cheap smelling salts when you feint as the billion dollar bailout fails, because that is all it will be good for, I promise.

Loren M. Lambert
Copyright October 18, 2008

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The 700 Billion Dollar Balloon

Some want to call it a 700 billion dollar bailout, some a rescue and others a "stimulus package." But here's what it really is, a 700 billion dollar balloon for our billionaire barons. This huge house of cards we have all unwittingly helped amass into all of its lofty, termite ridden glory, was created on our backs by the elite who benefited most from its teetering heights. To keep it that way so that high property values, exorbitant interest rates, and easy credit could float them all above the dross, they need this gargantuan balloon to tether it up with millions of strings and gallons of helium.

Without the helium lift, land prices will fall and with it the house of cards that our entire economic mirage has been built upon. In the short run, except for those who have been completely responsible and have not bought into this mess, there will be pain, maybe lots of it. But in the long run, if the lower and middle class survive the crush, with lower land values, the American dream will be more within their grasp. Perhaps that is what we need to finally discipline our selves as a nation because that pain is going to come sooner or later, why not take it now?

However, with the billion dollar balloon, the elite will be able to continue earning obscene salaries while enslaving the American public with mortgages it can't afford and credit that it cannot resist.

Therefore, if the status quo is going to be floated so we can enjoy our house of cards a while longer until the helium slowly leaks away, at the very least demand that our politicians secure limits on usury and consumer credit and force the wealthy, before they sail away on their golden parachutes, to disgorge their plunder.

Loren M. Lambert
September 29, 2008

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Hasty Hand of the Law and Brian Wood

After an argument with his wife, Brian Wood was sitting in his car, an obvious shell of a man, a gun held to his head.

All about him the ever impatient law enforcement officers were huddled behind barriers and shields. Acting brave and trying to provoke Brian into standing down, the officers, all decked out in their SWAT team outfits, volleyed back and forth at him using tear gas, stun grenades and intimidation.

However, they didn't look all that heroic. It was all there to watch on the 10 o'clock news. They looked like a bunch of grade schoolers poking their sticks at a wounded, wild and trapped animal. The outcome was apparent without any additional watching or ever reading the morning news the following day. Someone was going to die and of course someone did.

So, for the last time, please explain to me why oh why oh why can't law enforcement ever simply show a little Gandhian restraint and calmly, patiently and simply wait things out? It never ceases to amaze me the countless lives, including the innocent, law enforcement and the not-so-innocent that are lost--from Ruby Ridge to the Swapp Compound to Wacco--because law enforcement had to force things instead of waiting out the stand off.

Let's face it, Brian Wood had isolated himself in his car. The car was hemmed in. He wasn't going anywhere. He was surrounded. Instead of using their expensive toys, all law enforcement had to do was secure the area, rig up lights for the coming night, post a few officers in four hour shifts and wait it out. Although not nearly as sexy and cool, even if it would have taken a day or two before Mr. Wood succumbed to fatigue, hunger and thirst--that would have been a far better outcome and probably less expensive than the bravado that law enforcement is always so eager to display--often with unnecessarily deadly outcomes.

Loren M. Lambert
September 25, 2008 Copyright

Monday, September 15, 2008

What's The Test for Success In Iraq?

Senator John McCain and his adorable side kick Sarah declare that the surge has been a success and we are winning the war in Iraq. Really? How is that determined? By the absence of violence? Wasn't there a greater absence of violence when Saddam was alive and in control?

Using that as a litmus test for success, I guess we should install a dictatorship (dang, the best guy for the job was hung) or better yet we can surge the hell out of them and make sure our investment gets paid in oil--maybe Dick Cheney could stay on to see it through.

No, success is when the Iraqi people make a collective choice to do what is right. That will not be known until the American presence is no longer restoring security by brute force. Only then will we know that their hearts and minds have grasped the ideology of tolerance and democracy.

So what has the surge shown of their hearts and minds?

The other day an Iraqi high ranking officer was being recorded by western media as he berated a junior officer. His diatribe was that the junior officer was soft and had to work harder. The senior Officer screamed that if this junior Officer found a "terrorist," in a home--he was to destroy that home and its occupants, if in a community--he was to rip apart the entire neighborhood, and if in a village--he was to obliterate the entire village until not even a fly knew what had once been there.

Is this progress? Is this what we are proud that our surge has done in Iraq? I don't think so. Perhaps it has worked in other areas of Iraqi society. But that is something that neither Senator McCain nor Senator Obama can know as armed outsiders looking in. To say otherwise is like proclaiming your undying love when some woman is demanding you love her at the point of a gun. With the muzzle held to your temple, it's just a little difficult to be genuine about your sentiments for her. Iraq has that muzzle held to its temple and who knows what it is collectively thinking despite whatever platitudes are coming from its mouth. Only time will tell when we are long gone. So in the interest of discovery, let's give them the best shot we can and get the heck out of Dodge.

Loren M. Lambert
September 14, 2008 Copyright

Friday, September 5, 2008

George Bush With Lipstick and a Bigger Vocabulary

Sarah Palin is a scary thing. She does not represent the new Republican party. She's still more of the same, but she's pretty and has a bigger vocabulary than G.W. Nevertheless, if you listened closely to her acceptance speech, she made it clear that she has the same disdain for the law (". . . [Obama's] worried that someone won't read them their rights) and basic human rights, the same disregard for the environment (drill, drill, drill, drill until the sun don't shine--not a quote but a paraphrase--not that we shouldn't but that we should act with prudence), the same adherence to old school diplomacy (“Obama wants to meet them without preconditions) and the same lust for everything that unfettered corporate greed can give her and the American elite (yes, she did support the billion-dollar-boondoggle-bridge to a small island where it would have been less expensive buying a Lear Jet for each inhabitant).

[But on the other hand she is the governor of the biggest state in the union (population 685,000 about a fourth of Utah's population) just like Dick Cheney was the something or another from the State with the most jackrabbits per capitat (about six for every citizen of Alaska--I know I counted them).]

That's why she was selected--she is the stealth Bush in effeminate slick skin. And it is not Obama's alleged silver tongue that the American people need to be wary of, it is the wolf in the fashion model's clothing.

Bush talks like a babbling idiot because of the old adage, garbage in, garbage out. Obama is well spoken because his superior talent as a public speaker is backed up by a brilliant mind and a wise intellect. Palin, on the other hand, is well thought of because, as John Cougar Mellencamp has sung, "when those crazy nights come callin', she can dance on the table like all of the rest." And that's after having five kids, tramping the Alaskan outback, shooting a heavy caliber rifle, overhauling a snow mobile engine and mixing it up with all the high rolling oil barons of Prudhoe Bay. What G.W. loving old Republican can resist that? Not a one--especially with all that viagra Bod Dole has hocked.

Let's just hope that the American people can, because as my mother always warned me, while you can take her to bed with you after the big dance, will she be there for you when the hurricane hits and the gray hairs set in?

Well, just like G.W. wasn't, neither will she. No, you'll see their swiftly retreating behinds taking refuge in an Exxon hunting resort away from the prying eyes of the American public.

Loren M. Lamber (Copywrite September 12, 2008)

Friday, August 29, 2008

We Are All Olympians

I love the Olympics. I relish the opportunity they give for the whole world to unite and celebrate the excellence of human athletic achievement and prowess. Despite there somewhat militaristic feel, I loved the Beijing Olympics. They chose as their theme "One World, One Dream." To emphasize this theme, Beijing made the symbol of the circle a prominent aspect in its ceremonies.

It was fitting. I related to it because all things come full circle. We start off first helpless, drooling and dependent. We then grow into maturity watching the nations great athletes strut out onto the world stage and we all dream and believe that we too can some day join them. While young we practice, toil and sacrifice with no experiences suggesting to our youthful exuberance that an Olympic berth is beyond our reach. When life then passes us by with no realization of this dream, it fades as we confront our mortality, and then once again we become helpless, drooling and dependent. Luckily though, just before abject senescence takes hold, in some mysterious trick of the aging mind, this dream springs back to life.

Similarly, as a boy and then a young man, when I watched the Olympics, I saw myself as one of them, worthy to compete at an international level both physically and mentally. I trained rigorously in my chosen sport of kayaking. I reached a level of expertise that was commendable, but my Olympic dream was never realized. Much later as time passed I came to acknowledge that I never really had what it took to be an Olympian--which was true, most of us don't--but don't tell me that, not now.

Because as more time has passed, I also have finally come full circle. I have devolved back to that more innocent state when as a youth I saw myself as an Olympian. I have forgotten how hard it was and how superior others were who had been blessed with more perfect physical abilities. Now, with my halcyon rose-colored middle-aged mindset and with the help of Olympic athletes like 41 year old Dara Torres, I can watch the Olympics and not just think I could have been an Olympian--I know I could have. Forget the fact that my athleticism was never all that stellar when I was even at my peek. No. I now surmise if only I had just been given the right opportunities, I too would have been an Olympian. I too could have been there on the world stage toiling against all the odds and triumphing in the end.

And that's the other reason I love the Olympics. I love them because I can even more indulgently imagine, if just for a moment, without the need to act upon that dream, that I too am an Olympian.

Loren M. Lambert
September 25, 2008 Copyright

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Mark Spitz, Way Greater Than Michael Phelps

Some people naively think that Michael Phelps is a greater athlete than Mark Spitz. This is obviously not true. Why? Mark Spitz did it with a mustache, a feat little men like Michael Phelps can only dream about. I remember it so vividly, he was standing there with his seven gold medals and a full head of hair and a mustache in his red, white and blue--for a moment he was as great as the Beatles. And not just some well-trimmed, thin, pencil mustache of the hip-hop generation, but a full grown, bushy banner and anthem probably inspired by the Woodstock summer of peace and love. As wind tunnel after wind tunnel have shown, a mustache creates almost as much drag as a National Geographic wind sock. So, here's to you Mark Spitz, the only Olympic swimmer that will ever win seven gold medals in the same Olympics while sporting a psychedelic Sergeant-Pepper's-Lonely-Hearts-Club-Band mustache.

Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 20, 2008

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Where In the World is Captain Porter

Below is a response I emailed to one of my conservative acquaintances challenging what I suspect is a bogus email authored by a "Captain Porter" that maligns Senator Obama. I submit the same challenge to all you Obama detractors (except for the money part). Bring me this Captain Porter. I have left her email address off to protect the guilty since I don't want her to get bombarded with to much favorable Obama information. It might dampen her enthusiasm for the chain-email rumor-mill.

Dear Barbara,

I know you are very conservative, very religious and a staunch republican and I actually find a lot of your emails to be insightful. I am a pragmatist and have ideas and beliefs that would be considered both conservative and liberal. I do not vilify those of different mind and respect differences of opinion. Even knowing that I may offend you and lose your business, sometimes one must take a stand.

I would highly doubt that this email letter from Cpt. Porter is authentic. Have you been able to authenticate it?

Moreover, just so you know, I whole heartedly support Senator Obama. I think he is brilliant and has superior judgment. Moreover, if it weren't for people like him, you wouldn't have many of the benefits that you yourself have had to rely upon at difficult times in your life.
Be careful what you get that purports to be real and not a "fake." Don't be naive. Anything like this can be drafted up and sent around by many a crackpot. I challenge you to track down this Cpt. Porter. Let's make a deal, you track him down and prove he is a real person who was really there when this allegedly happened and I'll donate $50 to John McCain (who I highly admire and who would be a great improvement over Pres. Bush who has been a disaster) and if you can't, you donate $30 to the Obama campaign. Deal?

I think that spreading such stuff, even if done innocently, is being a bearer of false witness and is a violation of one of the most revered Christian ethics not to bear false witness.
I also find it in such poor taste that it comes with an ad to buy beauty products. You should know better.

Good luck on under taking my challenge.

Just so you are aware, I have read and listened to many reports delivered by reporters and others who were not a part of the Obama entourage who have far greater credibility than your, most likely fictional, "Cpt. Porter," about similar crackpot emails and messages being sent around .

Even if we don't agree, I admire your zeal.

Sincerely Loren M. Lambert


From: barbara jolley
Sent: Monday, August 11, 2008 10:18 AMTo: . . .
Subject: FW: From Afghanistan
Subject: From Afghanistan
Thought this was compelling enough to pass around.

Hello everyone, As you know I am not a very political person. I just wanted to pass alongthat Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visitto "The War Zone". I wanted to share with you what happened. He got off theplane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with theMajor General (2 Star) who is the commander here at Bagram. As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and didn'tsay a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As hefinished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tentthat military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) sohe could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunnedthe opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service. So really he was just here to make a showing for the American's back homethat he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going tomake an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that areproviding the freedom that they are providing for you.I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the DallasCowboy Cheerleaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be thePresident of the United States . I just don't understand how anyone wouldwant him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared tobe around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country. If this is blunt and to the point I am sorry but I wanted you all to knowwhat kind of caliber of person he really is. What you see in the news is allfake. In service, CPT Jeffrey S. Porter Battle Captain TF Wasatch American Soldier

Thursday, August 14, 2008

MonaVie, As Good Looking As You Think It Is

MonaVie? Great tasting, rejuvenating juice in an expensive snake skin bottle--almost as good as the juice I just squeezed from the exotic and anti-aging producing service berry picked in the scrub oak jungles of Heber City, Utah. I'm selling it to the Brazilians in titanium capsules so I can charge three times more than MonaVie. I just need an aging Olympian to hock it. Henry Marsh, MonaVie CEO? Great inspiring runner now saddled in a snake skin suit sipping MonaVie bug juice on top of the supper pyramid making us all wish we were up there feeling as awesome and youthful as all them face-lifted, tanned, lipo suctioned high rollers. Ah, the glories of fad trademarking. So, here's a service berry toast to you, my hero Henry Marsh--and it didn't cost me a dime but then again I don't have an expensive looking bottle to put in my window to remind me of the good times when I sipped myself into bankruptcy drinking MonaVie without even an once of alcohol in it to make it worth the price and worthy of a reason for insanity.

Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 14, 3008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Russia Delayed Reflex

Surprise. Russia invades Georgia, like the reflex of an old man--something its been itching to do for a long time but cunningly waited until the world's leaders were safely being entertained by their adorable and amazing athletes in the Olympics. During commercial breaks our leaders take time to weigh in with their displeasure.

Their ears to the tube, Sean Hannity and other right wingers try to rank the condemnations thereon. They claim President Bush has won the gold in world record rhetoric, Senator McCain a close silver with a nicely clinched jaw and poor Senator Obama claimed the bronze, bringing up rear with dreams of peace talks.

So how do the Georgians rank them? Words of condemnation, clinched jaws and hopes of peace talks are not going to put out the fires on their burning houses, are not going to stay the boots pressed against their charred heads and will not bring their children back from the dead nor save those who will die in the days to come. So they rank them with their tears, their pain and their coffins. Knowing, as the Russians know that--

It's simply a fight we have no stomach for at this time. Without Bush, McCain or Obama empowered or willing to do anything but mutter for the cameras, we can only hope that God will soften the Russians' hearts and thereby grant us guilt-free Olympic golds.

Loren M. Lambert
Copyright August 12, 2008

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I Am a Culturalist--Revisited

I wholly anticipated that my proclamation that I am a culturalist would cause some to unfairly label me as a bigot who would advocate exclusion based on race, national origin, color and religion. I would not. Nevertheless, I still will not shy away from this nettlesome subject which many think about and that many more confuse with issues of race, national origin and religion. To the contrary, the argument that some cultural influences are corrosive, has nothing to do with race or religion.

Unfortunately, this issue is avoided due to the ignorance-is-bliss pall that undue political correctness throws over necessary introspection and deliberation into culture and its consequences. In this void, many groups, no matter what belief system, ideology or theology they devise, are allowed to label anyone an intolerant bigot should they dare subject their culture and its ideology to any serious criticism--especially if due to coincidence their culture allegedly originates under the umbrella of some well recognized world religion, a particular geographic location or are made up predominately of one race.

Let me reiterate that I do not believe that dangerous cultural ideas and influences are endemic to a particular race, religion or geographical location. However, just as the rotation, axis, atmospheric composition and geographic configuration of the earth tend to produce predictable weather patterns in particular areas, likewise cultures produce societal "weather" patterns, including peace and prosperity or war and poverty. "Culture," in this context, does not mean the manners and artistic expressions of a country, race or religion, it means "the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another," "a particular form or stage of civilization . . . " and "the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic or age group. . . " (Webster's American Dictionary 2000).

Nor do I speak of an "Hispanic," "Islamic," or "American" culture as suggested by an anonymous commentator to this blog. Delineating specific cultures is similar to geographically demarcating watersheds. Just as some watersheds nest one within another, some are isolated pockets and basins big and small, and some encompass massive areas in which one branch of a particular watershed is polluted and turbid bearing no resemblance to another branch of that same watershed that is clean and clear, so it is with cultures. There is a World, a Christian, and a US culture, etc. Nested within them like matryoshkas, are myriad cultures. Some with close affinity and some standing isolated and separate like salty dead sea basins. The "drug cartel culture" does not necessarily have anything to do with "Hispanic culture," and it has no connections to race. However, its appearance where ever it resides is not an accident--societies and their culture or cultures cannot divorce themselves from the reality that they may have responsibility for the emergence, survival and propagation of corrupt sub cultures.

Unfortunately, people from particular cultures, like acolytes of organized religions, may swear that theirs is a model of perfection. However, given the current status of humanity, I would venture to state that no culture is without its warts. And, since I can do so without being called a bigot (since I am part of it), I will assert that US culture, with all its qualities, is prone to escapism, excessive materialism, addiction and arrogant bellicosity. Because of these tendencies, it too bears responsibility for the drug cartels that are funded by American addicts. And herein lies the challenge and the difficulty, some cultures, due to the collective sum of their parts, tend to create certain types of predictable societal weather. The trick is to intelligently analyze these tendencies and proclivities and to root out the abhorrent cultural influences while retaining that which is a beneficial and good. Having made that declaration, let me invite others to either tout their perfect culture or critique its imperfections.

This is important because it is only when those virtues and vices are identified that a more rational discussion can be engaged in on how to encourage the development of positive cultural influences and how to resist those influences that are corrosive. While I do not advocate the suppression and censorship of the free discussion of ideas and ideologies within the United States and elsewhere, I submit that it is appropriate for our country to first completely secure our borders to prevent entry to the undocumented (yes I know there are many of you here and most of you are good people) and second to bar those adherents of ideologies that are inimical to our democratic system.

For instance, an acquaintance of mine and an American citizen that I admire believes that the best form of government would be a theocracy such as it exists in some areas of the world. He should never be thwarted from advocating and discussing this position. Hopefully though, through the power of vigorous debate, he and those of similar bent will be persuaded that theocracies lead to tyranny. On the other hand, not only should we ensure that those requesting asylum to reside here understand what our constitution says but we should strive to ensure they understand what it means.

We believe, as Americans, that all men should be allowed to follow the religion of his or her choice. While we may debate were the boundaries of church and state should lie, there is no room for the adherents of cultures that would supplant our civil government with a theocracy. Hence, if you are a foreigner who desires to install your Pope, your Iman, your Bishop or your Prophet as both the supreme religious leader and ruler of this country in order to create a theocracy, you should not be allowed citizenship. Such an ideology is as dangerous, if not more, to our liberty as would be an invading army assaulting our shores to impose a dictatorship and should be repelled at any and all costs. If on the other hand, you are arriving here with the intent to follow your conscious and live in tolerant peace and harmony with others who follow a different faith, then you have a right to call yourself an American.

So, I reiterate, I am a culturalist. I believe that we Americans should carefully consider which cultural influences are compatible with our way of life and which are not. I am not advocating a religious, race, color or national origin litmus test. I am suggesting that citizenship be awarded to those possessing an understanding and affinity to our way of life. Upon reaching a consensus thereon, we should bar citizenship to those advocating cultural ideologies that are adverse to the principles of freedom, democracy, liberty and the rule of law.

Loren M. Lambert (c)
August 11, 2008

Friday, August 8, 2008

Most Utahans Are at Least Democrats if not Liberals (Shortened Version)

Many Utahans are liberal democrats in conservative republican clothing and don't even realize it. Granted, if you ask avowed conservative Utahans if, to suppress prices, landowners should be forced to sell their real estate, diamond conglomerates should be forced to place their inventory of gems on the market for sell, or if the sales' price of new and used cars should be regulated, most would understandably give a resounding "no." This is because owning and holding property and acting in one's self interest regarding that property is a bedrock principle of American capitalist conservatism.

If, however, you asked this same group of Utahans the following, their conservative credentials would whither. If a virus was killing 9 out of 10 humans, not just in some distant country among "foreigners," but across America, would it be hunky-dory for a US Pharmaceutical that invented a vaccine to price you out of the market and subject 90% of your family to death by demanding as high a price as people were willing to pay or to sell it to its corporate employees at a cut rate price but to all others at an exponentially high "COBRA" rate?

Next suppose that due to energy demands 50% of the world's grain was slotted to be used for bio-fuels but at least 75% of that same grain crop was needed to prevent starvation and economic ruin across America, would it be okay to let the free market render that 50% into inedible fuel? Lastly, suppose that all the oil barons decided to either: control the oil supply to exponentially increase its price; set a price higher for Americans than, let's say, the Chinese; or bar sales to the American consumer altogether, would this be fine with you? If your answer is no or a wavering yes to any of these last three questions, then you my friend are a fair weather republican, or let’s face it, either a closet democrat or worse, a liberal.

In conclusion, if you think that inexpensive gas is a right your government should guarantee, why is it such a stretch to ask that same government to insure that as a free and great people we assure that adequate health care is within the reach of every American? Don't feel the need? If you don't, it's not because you are a conservative, it's only because you are currently on top and able to afford that $100,000 vaccine and are among the lucky few that the medical industrial complex has not priced out of the market. In truth, making health care within the reach of every American is a more realistic goal then perpetuating the myth that we will always have as much inexpensive nonrenewable fossil fuels as we desire. Moreover, just like there is supposedly a higher percentage of God fearing people in a fox hole, in the ever burgeoning ER rooms across America, metaphorically speaking, there is an ever increasing number of liberal democrats. We are all headed toward that emergency room. So, Utahans, welcome to the democratic party. You'll like the way it feels, I guarantee it.

Loren M. Lambert, Copyright July 31, 2008Midvale Utah 801-568-0041

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Why Most Utahns Are at Least Democrats or at Worst Liberals

This year our usual, patriotic, celebrate-our-pioneer-heritage and eat-a-lot-of-homemade-ice-cream 24th-of-July celebration was ruined when I pulled the wool off of Utah's wolf pack in sheep's clothing--mainly my entire family and 80% of all Utahans. And there, under that downy, vanilla-candle-scented and bleached fleece was not a pack of republicans but a whole flock of liberal-leaning federal government subsidized sheep.

Think it isn't so? Bravely proceed on my stalwart Utah Republicans and first answer the following no-brainer questions:

Setting aside issues of eminent domain--suppose a person owns a large track of land--is that person obligated to sell it if she does not want to? Of course not. Suppose that because this land owner refuses to sell she thereby makes the price of land every where to go up. Or even worse, land speculators also buy up a bunch more land and further cause the price of land to rise. Should these land owners be forced to sell their privately own real estate or sell it at a reduced price? No!!! Private ownership is a bedrock principle of our capitalist system.

So far so good, you are still a conservative capitalist. Let's continue. Suppose your company owns and controls most of the worlds diamonds. Does your company have a right to control how many of those diamonds are sold on the open market to make sure that your beloved bride's rock is still as valuable, if not more, as it was the day you bought it to wed her? Yes! Of course. Capitalism means the right to sell your property when, where and at the price that you can demand. Right?

As a further example, suppose you are a car salesperson. Your at work and see some sap walk onto your car lot. The minute you lay eyes on him, you know from years of finely tuned experience and sharply honed skill that, without you even telling a single big looper, he will buy one of your automobiles for several thousand dollars more than anyone else. Now even though you wouldn't have sold it to your mother at that price, is it legal, fair, all American, according to Hoyle to do it? Yes, buy low and sell as high as possible. This my dear friend is another bedrock principle of capitalism--maximize profits and minimize losses.

Feeling good about your conservative credentials. Let's move on to the harder questions.

Now suppose a mega virus, that is killing 9 out of 10 humans, is raging, not just in some foreign country among people who don't look or talk like us, but across the world, including America. Then, glory to the mother of ingenuity, a US Pharmaceutical company comes up with an exclusive vaccine and decides to demand as high a price as people are willing to pay or decides to sell it to all member of its corporation at a cut rate price but to all others at an exponentially high "COBRA" rate. Now lets say that you've been priced out of the market and 90% of your family will die? Are you okay with that because it is the conservative, capitalist way of the free market? Feeling a little uncertain?

Next suppose that 50% of the world's grain is slotted to be used to create bio-fuels to meet the world's energy demands but at least 75% of that same grain crop is needed to prevent mass starvations across America. Or suppose that some guy name Joe in his Technicolor dream coat determines there will be 7 years of plenty which will be followed by seven years of famine. In these last two scenarios, would it be consistent with bed rock conservative, capatalistic market principles for the government to intervene and assure that grain stocks be stored to stave off starvation? You think maybe? Getting soft? Cozying up to that swearword "liberal"?

Now suppose that all the big boys of oil get together and decide to either: control the supply to increase price; set a price higher for Americans than, let's say, the Chinese; or worse to not sell a drop of oil for several months to the American consumer. Would this be okay? Would you call upon the government to do something about it? If your answer is yes then you my friend are at the far left of the political spectrum and are at the very least a democrat or worse, a liberal.

So, if you think that cheap gas should be a right guaranteed by our government, why is it such a stretch to ask that same government to insure that as a free and great people we guarantee that adequate health care is within the reach of every American? Don't feel the need or the pain? If you don't, it's not because you are a conservative, it's only because you are among the lucky few that the medical industrial complex has not priced out of the market. The reality is that making health care within the reach of every American is a more realistic goal then perpetuating the myth that we will always have as much inexpensive nonrenewable fossil fuels as we desire. Moreover, just like you may find a higher percentage of believers in God in a fire fight in a fox hole then in more calmer times, in desperate cultural circumstances, you may find more democrats then usual during more circumstances. And these are desperate times. So, Utahans, welcome to the democratic party. You'll like the way you look, I guarantee it.

Loren M. Lambert, Copyright July 31, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Boy Verging on Manhood

A year ago my first born strutted onto his high school stage to accept his diploma. He made that entry the same way he entered as a newborn--with great exuberance and just a bit of forced bravado to mask the uncertainty he felt venturing out into a new frontier. He then spent a year doing what I never could--living in the dorms on a full ride scholarship--the precursor epitome to the all-American dream; consisting of college classes, hanging with the dorm bros, and earning a little date change in a campus job. Now he is headed out into the world on an LDS mission.


Some have congratulated me for his success. I am perplexed by their comments. "Congratulations," they say while I eat cookies at his farewell. What?--I blink perplexedly. Then they say, "Your son has developed into a fine young man. You should be very proud." I thank them knowing that, except for volunteering half of his chromosomes (yeah, I’m such a hero), I had little to do with his success. Me, I just added water, stirred for a while and whallah!--I whipped off the white cotton swaddling clothes and there stood a whole-wheat, fully yeast risen and fortified golden baked loaf of a boy verging on manhood towering taller than his parents in more ways than his six foot stature.


So where did the time go? Yeah, we men verging on old-fogie-hood say it all the time and have heard it a billion times before it ever slips from our own lips. But it’s so amazing, befuddling and personal we you experience it yourself. Just yesterday my firstborn was a two year old toe-headed toddler who followed me around and gleefully mimicked my every move, including trying to do push ups and bloodying his nose. He ran the block with me at Ft. Lewis, kicked his soccer ball and often bobbed off to sleep in his seat on my mountain bike. Now he calls me old man and takes pains to make sure his hair isn’t combed in the same direction as mine. I look him in they eye and remind him he’s just a punk. And he is, as I am not in my prime, and we both stand at the cross roads, him looking into the future and me holding on to the past.


We took him to the MTC. It’s the antithesis of a military boot camp and instead of the foul-mouthed barking drill sergeants who greet your arrival, there are smiling, silver-haired elderly volunteers whose saintly demeanors and stern directives make you eager not to mess up--not out of fear but respect--and the concern of dashing their boundless faith in you. Soon he was signed in and we were ushered into a chapel. Once in, we were all sobered by a presentation that introduced the uninitiated to mission life. When it was over, the mission president urged us to make our farewell quick and to the point--like ripping off a bandaid--and thereby making it less painful, which suited me.


I am not a person who allows myself to get too close to others. It’s a flaw and defense mechanism I developed early when I thought it was the best way to bear life’s disappointments. It makes the partings less painful and tempers the joy of reunions. It smoothes out the extraordinary and bootstraps the commonplace so that everything is a nice palatable vat of gray. Yet still, with this event that seemed to mark the loss of a more innocent time, as I set adrift the boy verging on manhood, there was a touch of some undefined sorrow deep down in the core of my soul that recognized that a door was closing that would never be open again. I could only be thankful that I had had for a short time the pleasure of his company. As we parted, we hugged and said goodbye. Then he and his college friend left out an opposite exit door with the sign "Missionaries Only" to two years of celibacy and service. But this time there was no hint of diffidence, just the squared shoulders and determined jaw of a confident young man set to do what he knew to be true and good.


Instead, it was us who addled out of the chapel, with a bit of forced bravado to mask the uncertainty we felt in following from afar our son in his new venture beyond hearth and home with the hope that the citizens of Detroit would know what a good person and fine young man they were getting.


So, be safe, do well, as I know you will, and we hope to welcome the man we know you will become back to our home for a brief stay until embarking upon you next venture. Loren M.

Loren M. Lambert July 11, 2008 ©

Wild and Naked, A Sacred Ritual

So that I can introduce this subject in a manner that everyone won’t get all goofy on me and go in the wrong direction, I'm not the only one that has come up with this. This concept was introduced at a Positive Mental Attitude convention by none other than Zig Zigler some years ago in Madison Wisconsin. In attendance among the business crowd on that fateful spring day were many thousands, including gaggles of born again Christians and a whole swath of Mormon Missionaries. I was there smack dab in the middle of them. Zig recommended that at least once a year, with great reverence and complete soberness of mind, when no one else was around, we should execute this sacred ritual.

First, take a paper sack. Cut two holes in it for your eyes. Then go into a room with a full length mirror and close and lock the door. Put the bag over your head, shed your cloths and peer into the mirror. Try to examine your body as if you were a stranger seeing it for the first time. This simple exercise, he said, allowed one to view with detachment one’s physical body without the distortion of his or her inflated or despondent ego so that the mind could see it for what is was--most likely a vessel needing some serious renovation and work (often unrecognized by the male ego) or as looking pretty darn good (often not appreciated by many women).

Here’s my variation of this theme. Every soul, at least once a year, should do this. Do it early in the spring or in the fall when the mosquitoes aren’t too thick. In accordance with your ability, go on a long, difficult back packing trip, hike, bike ride, run or paddle along some wild river, stream or lake. Get sweaty, tired, dirty and hungry. Eat a simple meal and savor it. Engross yourself in your surroundings. Listen to the life pulsing about you.

Then, as the sun is setting, find a nice secluded and quiet spot next to a clear pool of water. Make sure you’re safe and alone or with an appropriate partner. Divorce from your mind the flies and mosquitoes. Locate either a grassy bank or comfortable slab of rock, strip down naked and take a bracing, cold plunge into the water for as long as you can stand it, maybe going in a couple of times. Completely immerse yourself in the water. Welcome the chill. Upon reaching your limit, haul out and sit quietly. Relish the sensation of your body, fill its vitality and strength. Accept its vulnerability and take measure of its needs. Open your heart and soul to the life force and beauty that surrounds you. Breath it in as you do the fresh air.

Then as the warmth returns to your limbs and skin, as this process revives within you the simple pleasure of life, resolve to accomplish whatever message the experience bestows upon you, as I know it will. Stand wild and naked before the universe just as you came into it. Let it reveal to you the things you must know, the things that you have always known but have had stolen from you by too much of everything. Then, and only then, slowly dress, tread lightly and with gentle ease and grace return to civilization.

Loren M. Lambert
July 16, 2008 (C)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Utah, The Colon of the World!

Many naturalists have referred to the Amazon basin as the lungs of the world. If so, what is Utah? Some envision it as the world’s large intestine with the anal canal and rectum in the west desert with its discharge, hopefully, somewhere into Nevada. This exact subliminal message is being sent by the corporations who are secretly funding the giant replica colon at the children’s museum. It’s a very important function. Every organism needs one. So why fight it? Why not embrace this ignoble organ?

Moreover, the world is screaming for it. Hawaii wants to ship its waste to the mainland. The eastern seaboard wants to send it west by train. Europe wants to truck it here via Mexico. So why not fill this need? Don’t bring us your hungry, oppressed and poor. No. Bring us your refuge, sewage and waste. Make the desert bloom with chromatic toxins. Fill the great basin with spent glowing nuclear fuel rods. Turn the Great Salt Lake into a sparkling cesspool of mercury, selenium and flushed pharmaceuticals. Then, to top it all off, crowd all the canyons with multimillion dollar homes for Waste Inc.’s CEOs to give them a perch from which to admire their handiwork, just below the inversion layer. With a little ingenuity, the crossroads of the west could be the cross colons of the world.

Some in Utah don’t understand this potential. They want to muck things up with stuff like "FCOZ," not a Utahanism swearword nor what rude U. of U. football fans say about BYU’s cosmo, but the "Foothill and Canyon Overlay Zone." With it and other misguided, wacky, Save-Our-Canyons, SUWA, Sierra Club, tree-hugging, smell-your-arm-pits granola plans, they want to ensure that Bambi, Tweety and Thumper have forage to eat, a place to lay there terrain hogging heads, and clean water to drink. Don’t they know they can just buy it at Costco?--Geeeezzzz. Makes me want to scream. As my Dad always said, "you can buy a whole lot of fresh, clean, bottled water with the money you get from storing a few spent nuclear fuel rods under you bed. So why fuss trying to keep it potable in the first place!"

Then they want "green belts"--a code word for vermin infested natural habitat corridors along our streams, rivers and lakes. This is a plot to bring West-Nile-Virus-infected mosquitoes, rabid Raccoons and disease ridden ticks right to your child’s bedroom door. Outrageous. No, no, no. That’s what our Supreme Court protected gun rights are for--to kill Bambi before this tick-laden beast ever gets near your child. It’s like Brigham Young never got Rocky Mountain spotted fever and blurted out, "Stop. This is the place. I’m too damn sick to make it to the Hotel California."

And it’s good he was because ancient lake Bonneville carved out one heck of a sweet giant toilet bowl that can hold thousands upon thousand of wealth producing "brown gold" that thereby it wouldn’t be goin’ nowhere and wouldn’t be hurtin’ no one. I mean, what do they want? To make the Wasatch Mountains the "Lungs of the West?" Just silly. That’s what the third world is for. Let Brazil and the Congo protect the forest to flush out our "giant bong" with fresh air and we’ll protect the God given right of those whose ancestors got here first to develop their land in the way they think is best for them. That’s the all American way. Hoorah.

Loren M. Lambert July 15, 2008 ©

PS--To Avoid the New Yorker melt down, please be aware that this is satire.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Why Free Trade Isn't Free & The Hire American Campaign

Senator John McCain supports free trade. Sounds great. I would want it if it where free, but it's not.

In America--wage and environmental laws, that as a "free" nation we have decided are necessary to protect our well being--add to the costs of production. As a consequence, the same sneaker that we manufacture in America that is labor and environmentally friendly costs more than the same sneaker made in China. Why?

Though it may come as a surprise to some, constructing a chimney with an air scrubber or cleaning waste water before it is discharged back into a river costs money. Requiring over time pay and other work benefits further add expense to manufacturing.

Hence, China sells the misery of its people and land to us in the form of a cheaper sneaker. It thereby enriches its oligarchy, not its people. This not only impoverishes the Chinese worker because of the squalid conditions they must work in for low wages, but bankrupts the US worker because of job loss and the pollution that knows no border and needs no passport to go where it is naturally taken.

As a result, the American manufacturing-blue-collar worker, who once had a well paying job must not only lament the loss of his job to his under-paid, Chinese brother, but must breath in China's polluted air sent via the jet stream directly to his back porch where he must idely sit contemplating what to do to reverse this trend.

In his contemplation, instead of learning Chinese, he might resolve, once he gets his welfare check, to buy only American products. That has been all the rage for years--with one small problem. It needs the, "Hire Only American Campaign." You see, while all us American workers are "buying American," the American entrepreneur, to avoid the expense of our environmental laws and high labour costs, is taking his capital over seas.

So, the "Buy Only American Campaign" must be matched by its equivalent the "Hire only American Campaign." Haven't heard of it yet? No you haven't, and you won't. The American worker has been betrayed by the American capitalist. That is why free trade is not free and that is why trade agreements must require that foreign manufacturers comply with our labor and environmental laws before they should be allowed to compete in our great country against those who are willing to keep their capital at home and hire Americans.

And who wants to do this? Senator Obama. You want the best for everyone not just the foreign oligarch and American capitalist?

Vote for Obama.

Loren M. Lambert
July 4, 2008 (c)

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Email Response to my Senator Obama essay

I appreciate comments on my articles even, negative ones. Below is a negative email on my Obama piece and my response.

From: Ted Loosli Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:06 PMTo: Loren LambertSubject: Sen. Obama
June 26, 2008

Dear Mr.Lambert,
It strikes me as strange that a man who makes his living convincing people to his way of thinking would began his tirade by insulting his listener because of decisions reached. .Perhaps your purpose was not to persuade but only to intimidate while venting rather than winning people over to the candidate with which you are obviously impressed.
Let me respond by telling you some of the things that I am impressed by. Senator Obama is in the biggest fight of his political career and needs votes. That is achieved through telling voters what they want to hear, "Change". People are unhappy with government, period. They don’t like being governed and being charged for the privilege. They don’t trust politicians! Of course they want change but those that believe the new kid on the block can come in and affect meaningful change are those that are naive in my opinion. Within the span of my memory every one elected has done it with a promise of change.

Politicians with integrity come into office with high hopes and perhaps unrealistic expectations of their influence in Washington. The "good old boys" in both parties soon shoot them down and show they must play the game the way it's now played or they get ignored. I’m sure Senator Obama has learned this lesson, judging by his voting record, and simply wants to hold the office of the president for the greater potential influence he can have to further his agenda, whatever that might prove to be. However, the president needs the support of the congress before he can do anything meaningful he proposes so we are back to the back scratching in the "good old boys" network..

The fact that Senator Obama feels so strongly antiAmerican about something that prevents him from wearing a symbol of his love for our country on his lapel which thousands have died to preserve, his refusal to pledge allegiance to the flag while in front of a crowd hoping for a better America shows me his heart lies elsewhere than the betterment of the country he proposes to "change, yes we can". His public support for using public campaign money until he actually must make that choice then "changes his mind" to better his chance for election is also worrisome. I doubt this mind change would have occurred if John McCain had proven himself capable of matching the funds of Obama's contributors generosity.

Though John McCain is a lessor risk and in the political arena of choices we have these days, I think I’ll write in Mitt Romney on my ballot.
Regards,
Edward Loosli

Dear Ed:

In the same way I found it pathetic that people would not vote for Mitt Romney because he was LDS, I find the suggestion that just because someone is a Muslim (or attended a Muslim service when the person was a child--as if he made the choice to be there), has a Muslim name, etc. to be unpatriotic--offensive, defamatory and idiotic. It is demagoguery at its worst. If any one turns their ears off because of Obama's middle name, etc. they deserve no respect. Ann Coulter is a hideously shameful sham dressed up in a fashion models body and people that tolerate her kind of divisive, rude pap merely want to console their small mindedness.

Your suggestion that "Senator Obama feels so strongly anti-American," because he doesn't "[wear the] symbol of his love for our country on his lapel" is a very superficial way and I might add fatuous way of judging the heart of a man. I find this especially interesting from a person who claims to champion the rights of the underdog and downtrodden. If it were not for the work of the people you appear to revile, like Senator Obama, you and other deserving Americans would not have the luxury of sitting home, composing and then disseminating your defamatory sermons. I suppose you would not vote for a Jehovah's Witness because they do not participate in the pledge of allegiance and you would have supported the ancient Babylonians who burned those who would not "wear the flag of the state on their lapels" so to speak.

President Bush and his likeminded republicans have done so much harm to our reputation as a great nation, to our people, to our environment and to our world that the many times Pres. Bush speaks the name of "God" or places his hand over his heart to show allegiance to our great symbol is a hollow meaningless gesture from a empty shell of a man both intellectually and spiritually.

Among many other things, I served in the military because I believe as a member of this great nation it was my duty. I honestly pay my taxes because I believe as a member of this great nation it is my duty. I do not wear a flag lapel pin (although I would--never even crossed my mind one way or another that people like you were going around making this judgment--but I now know I want to get into the flag lapel business) but I am as patriotic as any American and I do not look for superficial conventions to prove my or others patriotism.

To finish, I tell you that I respect and admire John McCain. He is a great American and if he is elected he will be far superior to our current President and I would never stoop to behave like
Ann Coulter and take cheap shots at him.

Sincerely Loren M. Lambert

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Give Me Medical Care or Give the Medical Industrial Complex Death

My brother-in-law confronted me on my support of Obama's health care plan. He represents a very conservative position. I represent a more radical solution. We both agree the American health care delivery system is a mess. He offered no solutions aside from suggesting that we abolish health insurance altogether--about as likely to happen without radical reform as abolishing apple pie. I, like him, have spent my time calmly walking in the ever tightening and comfortable circles of conservatism, but no more. The sad fact is that their comes a time when the few have amassed so much power and are so drunk with it that nothing short of revolution will pry it from their greedy hands. Such is the case with the medical industrial complex. We need a revolution. While I hope its not of the bloody French variety, it must nevertheless come, as bold, far reaching and forward looking as our own revolution was in 1776. Obama gives more promise of bringing that revolution to pass then McCain whose tiptoeing into the fray will invariably lead either to more of the same or a more stark change when it is too late for compromise.

Loren M. Lambert Copyright June 22, 2008

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Is It Wrong to Marry a Fourteen Year Old Girl?

After reading my blog on "Texas' Kibosh of Big Love" a fellow sauna hog asked me to answer this question, a question he disgustedly said was skirted by a polygamist on national television. It was this, "Is it wrong to marry a fourteen year old girl, especially to old men?" While I kept him waiting to the end of my argument--for my family and community who are not a captive audience--let me answer this question now and present my diatribe later.

Answer: No. Fourteen year old girls (or boys) generally should not marry--especially not my daughter and especially not to old men (unless she's eighteen, she consents and he is filthy rich and about to die and leave her and I everything). Moreover, no kid should have children or marry until age twenty or older and then only after passing an exam on the following subjects: balancing a checkbook, planning a budget on the groom's projected wage; the origin of electricity; the origin of pork; and on child bearing and child rearing. Also, before marriage and having children, both males and females should be subjected to a simulated birthing and should be confined for a year and forced to raise a monkey. Then after a drug free, drug-hair analyzes, and the monkey is potty trained and on its way to College, then they can get married.

Diatribe: But this is not because it is "wrong," for fourteen-year-olds to marry or that it's "right" they marry at some later age. Anything that must be prohibited or banned by the force of law because it is "wrong" "contrary to God's law," or is "offensive" should be left to the individual conscious as guided by a person's chosen religious persuasion or personal philosophy. Fourteen year old girls should not marry, not because it is wrong, but because of the harm such marriages cause to the parties involved and to society. However, if you asked me this question while I was chewing on a Gazelle hock 10,000 years ago when humans didn't have to learn computer science to bring home the bacon and lived to age 22, I may have had a different answer.

My fellow sauna hog also asked, "Is polygamy wrong?" Granted, its excesses and extremes are patently dysfunctional but the same can be said about many mainstream heterosexual monogamous relationships and many practices like--consecutive polygamy (a la Larry King), 70 year old millionaires marrying 24 year old girls, singles having multiple liaisons they justify because they are not constrained by marriage, or legalized brothels in Nevada, etc. So, is whatever family or relationship arrangement people choose wrong? This again is not the proper question.

A better question is, "Is the harm that polygamy causes sufficiently severe that we should sanction its practice by force of law?" Or, similarly, is monogamy "right?" When both these questions are addressed in civil society, outside of religious circles, they should not be analyzed in terms of "right" and "wrong," but in the context of their benefits and harmful consequences. Without endeavoring to engage in this analysis at this time but to provoke discussion, I will simple state that while I believe that monogamy is the ideal that our modern society should champion, reinforce and promote, there is nothing inherently evil about polygamy. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, monogamy has not been the norm throughout human history.

Consequently, when government is constrained as it should be from interfering with religious activities, it is not proper for a democratic diverse society to proscribe a practice merely because we find it offensive or unwise. So, as long as our governmental coffers are not burdened by Polygamy (or any other relationship choice) and the practice thereof is engaged in by fully consenting adults, it should be ignored and only discouraged by the strength of our superior ideas and exemplary examples. As to its extremes, our law enforcement should very assiduously prosecute its adherents who engage in welfare abuse and practice underage marriages. I suspect that if this were done, the superiority of monogamy as a choice would render polygamy a rare practice only engaged in by those it makes sense to in their individual circumstances.

Loren M. Lambert, Copyright May 31, 2008

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I Am a Culturalist

I am a culturalist. I am adverse to some cultural influences. I believe that some cultures (including our own), some subcultures and many micro-cultures, have negative elements that must be resisted. Cultural influences, like a diseases, are dangerous and are carried across borders by humankind.

I have experienced some of these dangers here in my our own back yard. Some immigrants would welcome a theocracy, others tribal vigilantism to enforce their religious laws, and still others a drug-cartel-culture of brutality and bribery.

Hence, although we should be tolerant and open to the world’s dispossessed, even if accused of bigotry, we must also be highly selective of those we invite to share in our way of life. If in our immigration policies we are not careful and reverse the trend I and perhaps others have experienced, we may find in the not so distant future that we too, as has occurred outside our borders, will have our police forces replaced by drug cartels, our neighborhoods terrorized by religious fanatics or our beliefs being dictated by a theocracy.

Loren M. Lambert (c)
May 22, 2008

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Idiots Guide to Voting

Since I am not a presidential candidate nor an affable radio program host, I can safely say the truth without fear of losing my job or the votes of an unfortunately large block of Americans. This is it. Those who think that Senator Obama is unpatriotic, Godless and prejudiced against all non-blacks because he does not always wear a flag lapel pin, has attended a church with an undiplomatic pastor, and his wife once had the audacity to indicate that she has been less than proud of America, are ignorant.

This segment of our citizenry has never made any serious study of our mostly proud but checkered history nor ever thought too deeply about what it truly means to be an American who champions the equality of all and who honor humanity’s rights to civil liberties and freedom of speech, association, and religion. It is this same voting block that perhaps would have been persuaded by the unflaggingly patriotic rhetoric of Adolph Hitler who, not only always wore several flag lapel pins, ensured that all Germans wore their patriotism on their sleeves and swore their undivided and unquestioning allegiance to the Third Reich. That is not the kind of patriotism that any thinking American should admire.

So if you decide your vote based upon a candidate’s flag lapel pin, membership in some mainstream religion, CTR ring, WWJD ring, NRA membership and unblinking praise of all things American, you are an idiot. As an idiot, please feel free to continue the Bush legacy by voting for a president who talks of God, wears his patriotism on his sleeve and who blindly thinks that America is always right regardless of the morality of its choices. (Fortunately, neither Senators Obama, Clinton nor McCain fit this description--they are all thoughtful, patriotic Americans).

On the other hand, if your vote is based upon whether a candidate’s heart and actions would be worthy of the God you worship, bears his patriotism in the depths of his soul, and will lift and guide America into actions that will make it worthy of every living creatures praise and every American’s patriotism, than look beyond the superficialities and study the substance of the candidates’ positions. “Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature. . . : for the Lord seeth not as man seeth: for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” I Samuel 16:7. If you do, I am confident that Senator Obama, despite his outward appearance, will be capable of winning your vote by appealing to both your heart and your intellect.

Loren M. Lambert (c) May 18, 2008

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Blood Draw

Several weeks ago I had to have some blood drawn, which I hate. The technicians who draw blood are called phlebotomists. Not a user-friendly name. Anyway, usually blood draws from me go without a hitch and sometimes, with a really good phlebotomist, or just because on that particular day my nerve synapses are feeling lazy, I don't feel a thing. Most often I do. But on really bad days, when the phlebotomist is feeling frisky or I’m bouncing off the walls, it goes badly.

I pick a place from a list of labs my doctor gave me. I arrive early and am informed I have two choices, the hospital lab or a private lab up a couple of floors and over. I pick the hospital lab since I’m lazy and there already. I hand the receptionist my doc’s instructions and ask what it’s going to cost me. She doesn’t know and squints at me like I’m asking her the color of her panties.

"Is it cheaper up stairs?" I ask. She doesn’t know this either.

Looking bored and upset that she has a customer, she starts to ask me questions like we’re in forced couples therapy.

"You know," she says, "We have to ask all these questions. They don’t upstairs."

"So do I get a discount," I ask, "or a free shopping spree if I answer correctly?" She is not amused. Given the out, I tell her I’ll try my luck upstairs.

Once there, it’s no ninety-nine questions but neither do they know what it is going to cost me. Defeated I stay for the blood draw. Soon a green-lab-coated lady takes me in the room with the funny chair with the arm rest for blood draws. I imagine that it would be amusing to buy a couple for my clients to sit in at my law office just to let them know what they’re in for. I sit, roll up my sleeve, position my bare arm on the rest while she gets the needle ready. She paws my arm.

"Wow, you have great veins," she says.

"Thanks," I acknowledge. "I was the vein model for the last Grey’s Anatomy tome."

"No," she gasps, "That was my favorite."

"Yep. That was me."

"Wow," she continues, "So what about, huh, the huh."

"Yep, me too." She blushes.

"You’re kidding," she states.

"Yes, sorry. I am," I admit.

"You’re funny. You almost had me going. Well, here goes," she states as she plunges in with the needle. It hurts.

"Oh, that’s weird," she comments.

"What?" I ask.

"Look, no blood. Let’s see," she says as she starts probing around with the needle under my skin.

That’s when I looked. I don’t know if it was what I said that holds the clue or seeing the needle probe around like a sci-fi-under-skin creepy crawler, but I remember saying, "That hurts," and that’s all. I came to with a cold pack on my head and one of those nasty ammonia sticks thrust to my nostrils. I apologize for passing out. She then mentions that she found out that her lab is cheaper for blood draws and testing than the hospital’s but that the cost of the cold pack and smelling salts would bring it up to be about the same. Since I didn’t authorize them, I ask her if they have to go on my bill. She says yes because she had implied consent while I was unconscious.

I then start to leave.

"Where you going?" she asks.

"You didn’t get any blood?" I ask.

"No," she answers.

"So, can we use the same needle and cold pack to save on expenses?"

"No," she responds smiling. I groan and roll up my other sleeve.

"Don’t worry," she soothes as she gets the second needle ready, "It was a bad needle."

"So how much for a lobotomy?" I jokingly ask. Her eyes light up.

"How did you know I have been trained to do those?" she asks.

"Well phlebotomist sounds like lobotomist."

"Bingo," she says, "I'll Tell you what, if you pass out again, I’ll assume I have implied consent and I’ll do it for free."

Now I’m worried.

Loren M. Lambert
© May 11, 2008

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Big Texas Puts The Kibosh on Big Love and; Texas’ Latest National Export: Pre-Emptive Foster Parenting

Years ago, "Tex," a fellow river guide at the Teton Canoe Base, always proudly introduced himself as being from Texas where everything was Big except him. Tex’s Texas is still living up to that tradition. Big Texas gave us Big President Bush, who gave us a Big Pre-emptive War Policy, which gave us a Big Torture Policy, which gave us a Big Backlash with a Big Black Eye, which is ending in a Big Mess.

So, it should come as no surprise, that as a result of a Big Rosita Swinton Lie, the Texas Rangers, wearing their Big Cowboy Hats, driving their Big Assault Vehicles have created their own Big Pre-emptive War and have rounded up a Big Pack a’ Polygamist Kids so they could show how Big they were by putting the Big Kibosh on their Big Texas Love problem.

But unlike Texas, Tex, spry as he was, had a Big Heart who knew how to delicately handle difficult situations and most everybody liked him. He was the best thing ever to come out of Texas in many a decade. Where ever he is, let’s be grateful when Big Bush leaves the Big White House and goes on some endless Big Quail Hunt with Big Dick Cheney. And let’s hope that Little Tex returns to Big Texas, where everything is Big but him, and gives it his Big Texas Heart before Big Texas continues its Big Pre-emptive War against all the polygamist children which, despite Texas' Big Intentions, is guaranteed to create another Big Texas Mess.

Loren M. Lambert
© April 23, 2008

It is so ironic that the same State that through its emissary President Bush, brought us rendition, sanctioned torture, and pre-emptive war, has commenced another pre-emptive war. Over a century ago in Reynolds v. United States, the US Supreme Court upheld federal laws criminalizing the practice of polygamy and ruled that while beliefs are constitutionally protected, "offensive" practices were not. Now the Texas authorities are turning Reynolds on its head by reasoning that since all FLDS children are being brought up in polygamy, that this is tantamount to abuse and that all polygamist children will inevitably become abusers and victims. While it’s a tantalizing argument with some practical validity, in the US we have traditionally resisted punishing people because of what some well-meaning Cowboys in big hats thought someone might do. If this same logic was applied to all wayward parents who have in some respect found themselves on the wrong side of the law and would thereby pass on their unfavorable traits to their children, we should see the likes of Chelsea Clinton and more than a few Bush kids being shuffled off into foster homes.

Loren M. Lambert © April 23, 2008

Thursday, April 3, 2008

"God's Chosen"

A local Christian Bible bookstore, at 7200 South State Street, has a street ad proclaiming, "Chosen By God, Get Use to it." I’m not exactly quite sure what this message means or what it has to do with selling Bibles or spreading the good word, but it doesn’t remotely sound like anything Christ would have said. What happened to, "Blessed are the poor . . . , the meek . . ., the merciful . . . , [and] the peacemakers . . . ?"

Many of the self-proclaimed, "God’s Chosen," rant on national television, with hate pulsing from their tumid temples, that God is inflicting Katrinas on the Nation’s wicked. To them I would ask, when the lowly Man of Grief, the Lamb of God roamed the quiet fields of Israel, did he damn the humble sinners or the "chosen" in their lofty seats of power?

And if his most harsh words were reserved for the latter, will God more severely condemn the misdeeds of the downtrodden and misguided or the many Christians in positions of influence who arrogantly assert that they are "God’s chosen" and who stand with their boots upon the necks of the meek beseeching, "get use to it?"

May I suggest that a more compelling pitch to sell Bibles would be, "Come, let us wash your weary feet, and help lighten your heavy burdens."

Loren M. Lambert
March 31, 2008 ©

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

ERISA: License to Cheat, Lie and Steal for The Disability Insurance Industry

ERISA: License to Cheat, Lie and Steal for The Disability Insurance Industry

I. Introduction

There is an increasingly popular notion that modern litigation is an evil that must be stamped out at all costs. This belief has not only been propounded by the uninformed, but has been championed by some of our leading legal scholars, judges and legislators. They have sought to rarefy litigation by creating unnecessary legal complexity, stripping litigation of its essential components, gutting administrative agencies of staff and money, limiting attorneys’ fees, and completely eliminating adjudication of some claims.

This trend is reminiscent of individuals who desire optimum physical health without exercise or moderate consumption. All that is needed is a bit of surgery, some electrical stimulation, copious amounts of cellulite reducing cream and the latest magic pharmacopeia. This same approach is applied to litigation. The power brokers propose that optimum justice can be obtained through radical surgery, intellectual sophistry, copious amounts of judicial neglect, and a magic statutory bullet here or there. The problem is that, just as optimal physical health requires consistent physical activity and disciplined consumption, adequate justice also requires vigorous intellectual labor and disciplined processes. This will be true as long as imperfect beings live in a defective world.

Hence, litigation, while less than perfect, should not be a byword to be whispered in quiet places beyond the hearing of the young, weak, and uneducated. Moreover, in the long run, modern litigation is neither inefficient nor evil. Litigation is the machine of justice, exquisitely crafted, well oiled and highly refined through centuries of evolution and fine tuning. Many of its components are necessary elements in our modern world. Contrarily, trial by ordeal, used in past centuries, though quick to churn out resolutions, was inefficient, brutal and arbitrary. To the other extreme, the dismantling and disfigurement of our modern system of litigation into some effete, feeble but seemingly more efficient administrative or arbitrative process controlled by insurance corporations or governmental agencies, is, in the long run, as inefficient, brutal and arbitrary as was trial by ordeal–except that the deepest pocket, and not the more cunning combatant, usually wins.

As will be argued, ERISA (the acronym for the misnamed, "Employee Retirement Income Security Act) has created a brutal, arbitrary and inefficient administrative process that is controlled by the insurance industry. ERISA governs employee welfare benefit programs1 that consist of "any plan, fund, or program . . . established or maintained by an employer" to provide benefits through an insurance policy.2 This article concerns ERISA’s application to employment short term and long term disability plans (Plans). Supposedly, Congress created ERISA "to promote the interests of employees and their beneficiaries in employee benefit plans and to protect contractually defined benefits.3 However, this federal legislation would be more aptly named the "Enforcement of Revenues for Insurance Companies Security Act." The fact is ERISA does not secure employees’ rights to disability benefits. Instead, it is ill-conceived legislation that gives insurance companies the opportunity to cheat, lie, and steal.

II. Essential Components of Modern Litigation

Adequate adjudication of a conflict has several essential fundamental components including: (1) the availability of the discovery process, (2) the right to probe the materiality, competency and credibility of evidence, and (3) the right to present a dispute for resolution to an impartial fact finder. The elimination of any of these components in litigation invites deception and produces injustice.

III. Discovery Under ERISA

Under ERISA, through medical records requests, peer-to-peer contacts, medical record reviews, medical evaluations, medical examinations, medical testing, employment record requests, Social Security record requests, and surreptitious surveillance, the insurance company has unfettered access to information regarding a claimant when evaluating his or her application for disability benefits.

Contrarily, the claimant is mostly barred from obtaining any information through discovery about the insurance company’s decision making process. A claimant challenging a denial of benefits is only permitted to obtain what the Plan Administrator and/or insurance company designates as the administrative file. Hence, the first disfigurement to the machine of justice in an ERISA case is its jettison of the discovery process.

A. Importance of Discovery

"The objectives (of discovery) are to enhance the truth-seeking process . . . , to eliminate surprises . . . Its legitimate function is to furnish evidence, and the ultimate objective of pretrial discovery is to make available to all parties, in advance of trial, all relevant facts which might be admitted into trial."4

B. The Standard of Review in ERISA Administrative Appeals

When a claimant appeals an insurance company’s denial of disability benefits under ERISA, the Federal District Court reviews the claimant’s cause of action under either: (1) an arbitrary and capricious standard of review, (2) a "sliding scale/conflict of interest" arbitrary and capricious standard of review, or (3) a de novo standard of review. In Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. v. Bruch5, the Supreme Court held that "a denial of benefits . . . is to be reviewed under a de novo standard unless the benefit plan gives the administrator . . . discretionary authority to determine eligibility for benefits or to construe the terms of the plan."6 If discretionary authority exists, which is usually the case,7 then the proper standard of review is abuse of discretion.8
In Lunt v. Metlife, Case No. 2:05-cv-784, Judge Tena Campbell of the Federal District Court of Utah, in a memorandum decision, stated, "Because the Tenth Circuit has been ‘comparatively liberal in construing language to trigger the more deferential standard of review under ERISA,’ plan language which requires a claimant to offer proof of disability satisfactory to the Plan Administrator (and thereby the insurance company) triggers the arbitrary and capricious review. Consequently, any language in the Plan indicating that the Plan Administrator (and thereby the insurance company) has discretion to interpret and apply the Plan creates this rather lenient standard of review." (Citations omitted.)

1. Arbitrary and Capricious Standard of Review

Under the arbitrary and capricious standard of review, the court’s review is limited to the evidence and arguments that were presented during the administrative claim and appeal process with the insurance company.9 "In effect, a curtain falls when the fiduciary completes its review, and for purposes of determining if substantial evidence supported the decision, the district court must evaluate the record as it was at the time of the decision."10 The Tenth Circuit has justified this bar to discovery stating:

A primary goal of ERISA was to provide a method for workers and beneficiaries to resolve disputes over benefits inexpensively and expeditiously. Permitting or requiring district courts to consider evidence from both parties that was not presented to the Plan Administrator would seriously impair the achievement of that goal.11

Consequently, when the appropriate standard of review is arbitrary and capricious, a claimant’s right to discovery is limited to the administrative record. The administrative record is generated by the claimant, the insurance company and Plan Administrator prior to litigation. Most short-term and long-term disability plans have a two- to three-step administrative appeal process.

Ostensibly, one may surmise that an adequate remedy to any discovery deficiencies would be to submit any information during the administrative process that was arguably supportive of a claim for disability and to also request discovery information from the insurance company and the Plan Administrator. Although there are exceptions, in practice, this strategy is inadequate for several reasons.

Most claimants do not hire an attorney during the administrative process.12 They intuitively believe that, like most disputes, if they can’t work it out on their own they can later hire an attorney and sue. Also, when disabled and forced to leave work on disability, many claimants quickly become bankrupt. Consequently, they cannot afford to obtain adequate medical and vocational support for their disability application and surmise that legal representation is beyond their reach.13 They often have the misguided impression that, as long as they submit their own physician’s opinions and a few medical records supporting their diagnosis, they will obtain benefits. While in an obvious disability case this is true, when there is any dispute regarding a diagnosis or impairment and its disabling effects, the insurance company usually resolves that doubt in its favor. It does this by taking advantage of the claimant’s naivety and by using the exclusive power ERISA has given it to exercise its discretion to develop a reasonable excuse for its denial.

Once this is done, even when claimants do obtain legal representation, it is extremely difficult to contest the insurance company’s denial. While competent legal advocacy increases the chances of a successful outcome, a reasonably sophisticated and careful insurance company can summarily deny almost all appeals and immunize their decision from reversal in federal district court. This is true because under ERISA, regardless of the merits of a disability claim, to prevail a claimant must show that the insurance company’s decision was unreasonable and/or only supported by a scintilla of evidence.

In other words, under the arbitrary and capricious standard, "the [insurance company’s] decision will be upheld so long as it is predicated on a reasoned basis."14 In essence, "[t]he Administrators’ decision need not be the only logical one nor even the best one. It need only be sufficiently supported by facts within their knowledge. . . ."15 Courts "will not substitute [their] judgment for the judgment of the [Administrators] unless the actions of the [Administrators] are not grounded on any reasonable basis."16

Under this standard during the administrative process an insurance company can usually create a reasonable, and therefore legally irrefutable, explanation for its denial of benefits. This is especially the case because, if the claimant requests discovery information during the administrative process to try to uncover evidence demonstrating that the evaluation process is arbitrary, the Plan Administrator and its insurance company will deny the discovery request. It will argue that the very same federal case law prohibiting discovery in an ERISA claim during litigation, bars such requests.

Currently, except as noted below, there is scant federal case law regarding the right to discovery during the administrative process. As a consequence, attempting discovery during the administrative process does not catapult the claimant into a position to use discovery during litigation to expose shoddy, underhanded or dishonest insurance practices that are implemented to deny claims.

2. The "Sliding Scale" Standard of Review

In two seminal cases, Jones v. The Kodak Medical Assistance Plan, and Kimber v. Thiokol Corp. Disability Benefits Plan, both decided in 1999, the 10th Circuit, regarding actual conflicts of interest, stated, "[b]efore applying the sliding scale, a court must decide whether there was a conflict of interest."17 and, "there must first be evidence of a conflict of interest."18 To determine whether a conflict of interest exists, Jones directs the District Court to consider whether: "(1) the plan is self-funded; (2) the company funding the plan appointed and compensated the plan administrator; (3) the plan administrator’s performance reviews or level of compensation were linked to the denial of benefits; and (4) the provisions of benefits has a significant economic impact on the company administering the plan."19 Jones further states that, "[i]f the court concludes that the plan administrator’s dual role jeopardized his impartiality, his discretionary decisions must be viewed with less deference." Id.

In Fought v. UNUM Life Ins. Co. of America20 the 10th Circuit held that where an insurer is both funding and administering claims, it is operating under an inherent conflict of interest. Consequently, the District Court is to review the Plan Administrator or insurance company’s decision with a lesser degree of deference to the insurer’s decision. The court in Fought stated: "The district court must take a hard look at the evidence and arguments presented to the Plan Administrator to ensure that the decision was a reasoned application of the terms of the plan to the particular case, untainted by the conflict of interest." However, the Plan Administrator or insurance company’s decision is to be given even less deference if Plan Administrator is also shown to have a serious, actual conflict of interest.

Then, in Allison v. Unum21 the 10th Circuit court stated that even though the lessened deference is required in such circumstance, "In reviewing a Plan Administrator's decision under the arbitrary and capricious standard, we are limited to the 'administrative record'--the materials compiled by the administrator in the course of making his decision."22

Consequently, in the 10th Circuit, discovery is not allowed, even when there is an inherent or actual conflict of interest. This bar to discovery is in direct contradiction to additional 10th Circuit Court pronouncements about these "sliding scale" reviews.

The Tenth Circuit has adopted a two-step approach for dealing with conflicts of interest in ERISA cases. (There is one medical benefits denial case in which the Utah Federal District Court Judge did allow discovery in a "sliding scale" standard of review ERISA case.)23 First, the court must determine whether a conflict of interest exists because "[t]he possibility of an administrator operating under a conflict of interest . . . changes the [arbitrary and capricious] analysis." Fought,24 see also Adamson v. UNUM Life Ins. Co. of Am.,25 As the Supreme Court noted, "if a benefit plan gives discretion to an administrator or fiduciary who is operating under a conflict of interest, that conflict must be weighed as a ‘facto[r] in determining whether there is an abuse of discretion.’" Firestone.26 Second, if there is a conflict of interest, the court must decide what reduction from the arbitrary and capricious standard is warranted. "The reduction correlates with the extent to which the conflict jeopardized the administrator’s impartiality. Fought.27

Under this second step, the claimant bears the burden of proving that the impartiality was jeopardized. "The fact that [defendant] administered and insured the group term life insurance portion of this plan does not on its own warrant a further reduction in deference." Adamson.28 Rather, "[s]ome proof (supplied by the claimant) must identify a conflict that could plausibly jeopardize the Plan Administrator’s impartiality." Id.

The schematic set forth in these cases begs the question: how can a claimant, who is barred from conducting discovery, provide proof that the inherent or actual conflict jeopardized the Plan Administrator’s impartiality? Granted, while there are the rare cases when evidence of a serious conflict is readily available in the administrative record as in Flinders v. Workforce Stab. Plan, Phillips Petrol,29 this is a rare event. Under usual circumstances, is the insurance company going to offer up, as part of the administrative record, evidence that in order to save revenues it pressures its agents to deny claims by basing their promotions, pay and bonuses upon claim denials? Is it going to voluntarily provide information that it deliberately selects and manipulates expert witnesses so that they invariably support its denials? Is it going to divulge its procedures and protocols that indicate that certain claims are denied due to arbitrary impairment duration guidelines? No. Although this practitioner has also found evidence of such practices in the rare cases that discovery was allowed or in non-ERISA cases, this will only happen when ERISA is amended to allow discovery.

3. De Novo Standard of Review

Most circuits have adopted rules allowing the admission of additional evidence in de novo cases in limited circumstances such as when there was a conflict of interest. 30 The most thorough explanation of this position has been provided by the Fourth Circuit in Quesinberry,31 which held that allowing a district court to exercise its discretion to admit additional evidence in de novo cases under certain circumstances best reconciles ERISA’s competing purposes of efficiency and fairness.32

In, Jewell V. LINA,33 the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals stated:

A party seeking to introduce evidence from outside the administrative record bears a significant burden in establishing that he may do so. In particular, (1) the evidence must be "necessary to the district court's de novo review;" (2) the party offering the extra-record evidence must "demonstrate that it could not have been submitted to the plan administrator at the time the challenged decision was made;" (3) the evidence must not be "[c]umulative or repetitive;" nor (4) may it be "evidence that `is simply better evidence than the claimant mustered for the claim review.'" Hall, 300 F.3d at 1203 (quoting Quesinberry, 987 F.2d at 1027).(fn2) Even then, "district courts are not required to admit additional evidence when these circumstances exist because a court `may well conclude that the case can be properly resolved on the administrative record without the need to put the parties to additional delay and expense.'" Id.

For guidance in evaluating the necessity of extra-record evidence, we listed in Hall several examples of the "exceptional circumstances" which "could warrant the admission of additional evidence." Id. Those situations include claims that require consideration of complex medical questions or issues regarding the credibility of medical experts; the availability of very limited administrative review procedures with little or no evidentiary record; the necessity of evidence regarding interpretation of the terms of the plan rather than specific historical facts; instances where the payor and the administrator are the same entity and the court is concerned about impartiality; claims which would have been insurance contract claims prior to ERISA; and circumstances in which there is additional evidence that the claimant could not have presented in the administrative process. Id. (quoting Quesinberry, 987 F.2d at 1027). These are not exceptions to the Hall rule; they are merely examples of circumstances that might militate in favor of a finding of necessity. The existence of one or more of these circumstances does not make extra-record evidence automatically admissible, for if it did, then supplementation of the record would not be limited to unusual cases or extraordinary circumstances. This would "undermin[e] the goal of not making district courts `substitute plan administrators.'" Id. at 1206 (quoting Quesinberry, 987 F.2d at 1025). District courts must conduct analysis case-by-case to determine whether all four prongs of the test are met.
. . . .
. . . [T]he term "necessary," as we used it in Hall, must be "harmonized with its context." Armour & Co. v. Wantock, 323 U.S. 126, 130, 65 S.Ct. 165, 89 L.Ed. 118 (1944). We are guided by our qualification in Hall, following the Fourth Circuit's opinion in Quesinberry, that extra-record evidence may be admitted when "`necessary to conduct an adequate de novo review of the benefit decision.'" Hall, 300 F.3d at 1202 (emphasis added) (quoting Quesinberry, 987 F.2d at 1025). If, for instance, the administrator based its decision on information not in the record— perhaps on principles generally known within the medical community—the district court likely could not meaningfully review the decision without the admission of that evidence. Or if the court cannot understand abstruse medical terminology central to the issues of a case, the claimant may supplement the record with explanatory evidence. Likewise, if the administrator simply neglected to include in the record exhibits the claimant had submitted to it, those may be offered to the district court. (Even "necessary" evidence, however, may only be admitted if the other three prongs of the Hall test are satisfied. The consequences of a record insufficient to allow meaningful review will be borne by the party responsible for the insufficiency.)

In Hall v. UNUM,34 the district court held a bench trial in which the scope of review was expanded beyond the administrative record. In its review of that decision the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals sustained the District Court, stating that additional discovery is allowed, "[W]hen circumstances clearly established that additional evidence is necessary to conduct an adequate de novo review of the benefit decision."35

In a similar case, the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of California allowed discovery in a de novo case on: "(1) information necessary to demonstrate ‘the manner in or extent to which the conflict of interest affected UNUM’s decision-making process’ and ‘address any shortcomings in the record or decision-making process caused by the conflict [of interest],’ and (2) information regarding the independence or neutrality of the physicians utilized by UNUM for medical opinions relative to [Plaintiff’s] disability claim."36 The court reasoned, "[T]hese categories of information appear reasonably related to the claims and defenses in this case, and may lead to evidence that the District Judge may permit to be admitted at the time of summary judgment or trial."37

In Leahy v. Allied Stores Corp, 801 F. Supp. 529, 540 (1992) this Utah Federal District Court, applying a de novo standard of review stated, "Where the decision-maker stands to gain from a denial of benefits, there may be incentive to base the denial on less than all of the available evidence. Under such circumstances, courts should be hesitant to limit the scope of review to the evidence considered by the decision-maker." Although it appears this case has not been directly overturned, in view of Jewell , its applicability is questionable.

Therefore regarding the de novo standard of review and discovery, while the authority may seem to provide a glimmer of fairness for claimants, this limited allowance of discovery is rare. This is so because the disability insurance industry has, by the stroke of the pen, quickly modified most Plans to grant the Plan Administrators discretionary authority. Moreover, even in de novo cases, the Federal Judge has discretion to allow discovery. That discretion is exercised sparingly.

C. Essential Topics for Discovery

In summary, discovery is, for all intents and purposes, rare in ERISA cases. Discovery is, however, essential in all ERISA disability cases when disability benefits have been denied. In such cases a claimant should be allowed discovery to obtain: (a) the guidelines and other criterion used by Plan Administrators/insurance company to evaluate a claimant’s disabilities and application for benefits; (b) information about the compensation and manner that medical and vocational experts are selected; (c) the qualifications and competency of selected medical and vocational experts, and (d) information regarding the way the claims adjustors are evaluated in conjunction with their denial and approval rate of claims.

1. Guidelines and Criterion

In evaluating particular illnesses, diseases, syndromes, and injuries that are known to cause disabilities, insurance companies often use various guidelines that allegedly predict the severity and duration of particular disabling conditions. These guidelines are often applied by rote to disability claims without regard to the individual circumstances of the particular claimant. For instance, if a particular illness or disease has an average disabling duration among the general population of 6 months, insurance adjusters will arbitrarily apply that period of time to determine how long a claimant should receive disability benefits. Without access to this information, a claimant cannot demonstrate that a guideline is obsolete, incorrect or does not apply in their case. Under such circumstances, this is relevant information that would demonstrate the arbitrariness of the insurance company’s reliance thereon, but is nevertheless not allowed to be discovered.

2. The Compensation, Selection, and Qualifications Of Medical and Vocational Experts.

Most attorneys and legal experts recognize that if one party in a legal dispute has the exclusive ability to select experts to render opinions regarding any particular disputed matter and those selected experts are given irrefutable and controlling weight in the dispute, such a process will invariably lead to a result oriented selection of experts with predictable outcomes. Under ERISA this is, in fact, what happens. During the administrative process, the insurance company selects the medical and vocational experts that evaluate the claimant’s disability. In so doing the insurance company is able, through the power of the pocket and the protections of ERISA, to select those experts whose dispositions and philosophies are most closely aligned with the insurance company’s interests and who consistently support the Plan Administrator and/or insurance company’s denial. While during the administrative process a claimant may provide their own expert’s opinion rebutting the insurance company’s experts’ opinions, such submissions are usually futile.

This is true for several reasons. First under the arbitrary and capricious standard of review, discovery is not allowed to probe the unreliability, incompetency, or bias of the Plan Administrator and/or insurance company’s experts’ opinions. And second, pursuant to all standards of review in ERISA cases, so long as the Plan Administrator and/or insurance company’s experts’ opinions has some modicum or semblance of validity, it rules the day. As set forth above, ERISA has no mechanism to independently resolve medical disputes of fact and opinion. To the contrary, the Plan Administrator and insurance companies’ decisions and its selected experts are given the benefit of the doubt in any dispute and therefore any plausible denial of benefits is upheld by the District Court.

As the Supreme Court explained, "courts have no warrant to require administrators automatically to accord special weight to the opinions of a claimant’s physician; nor may courts impose on Plan Administrators a discrete burden of explanation when they credit reliable evidence that conflicts with a treating physician’s evaluation."38 Hence, as long as the Plan Administrator and/or insurance company finds some doctor or vocational expert somewhere, no matter how competent they are or reliable their methods, if they conclude the claimant is not disabled and able to work, benefits will be denied and its decision is not subject to reversal.

Empowered by this unfair schematic under ERISA, Plan Administrators and their insurance companies have, in fact, set up their own expert witness pools that they exclusively use for result oriented denials. Often these experts cursorily review the medical evidence, cherry pick only that information which supports a denial of benefits, have underlings conduct the examinations using their signature stamp, do not physically examine or evaluate the claimant themselves, and apply outdated medical criterions and testing. Many of these experts are either directly or indirectly under the supervisory influence of the insurance company. The vast majority of these experts earn millions of dollars of income from providing these evaluations and yet supposedly have full-time jobs in the medical industry to such an extent that it is improbable they are competently and fairly conducting these expert evaluations.

The reality of human nature is that what can go wrong will go wrong. There is no human being, organization or entity that is perfect or incorruptible. If the lights of the discovery process are therefore not shown upon the process that insurance companies use to evaluate claims, they can act deceptively and they will act deceptively because insurance companies are as prone to imperfection as the general population. These insurance corporations and their agents will and do commit errors because of: the motive to maximize profits, bias, prejudices, human error, ego, simple slothfulness, and sometimes outright fraud. Without the indispensable cog of discovery in the machine of justice, rarely, if ever, will such injustices be uncovered by claimants.

IV. Right To Present Evidence in Open Court and To Conduct Cross-examination

As set forth above, under ERISA there is no court trial of a denial of disability benefits. The claimant therefore never presents expert or lay testimony in open court about their limitations, pain, or fatigue to an independent, impartial fact finder or cross examines the insurance company’s agents and experts. The Judge only considers the administrative record.

"Cross examination is invaluable as a test of the accuracy, truthfulness and credibility of testimony."39 "Cross examination is a fundamental trial right in our judicial system and is an essential element of a fair trial and the proper administration of justice."40 "The right to cross examination has been called absolute and not a mere privilege. This right is also basic to our judicial system; its preservation is essential to the proper administration of justice; and it is a valuable fundamental and substantial right; to be jealously guarded."41 Dean Wigmore characterizes cross-examination as "beyond any doubt, the greatest legal engine ever invented for the discovery of truth."42 Moreover, since at least the time of Blackstone, it has been felt that the goal of evidentiary reliability can best be assured by testing the evidence in the "crucible of cross examination."43

If this is true, why do we, the American public, and we, as members of the bar, accept without a fight this gutting of our administration of justice, and blithely give in to the argument that efficiency for the insurance industry is more important than basic fairness?

V. Right to An Impartial Decision Maker

As set forth above, in reviewing a denial of a claim for ERISA benefits, in litigation, the Federal District Court Judge resolves the dispute through motions practice and not a trial. In reviewing these motions, "the court does not examine defendant’s motion under the traditional summary judgment standard. . . . Instead, the court acts as an appellate court and evaluates the reasonableness of a Plan Administrator or fiduciary’s decision based on the evidence contained in the administrative record."44 Hence, the Federal Judge does not sit to adjudicate the case, the Judge merely determines if the insurance company’s denial metaphorically stinks so bad that it cannot be tolerated.

This point is highlighted when, in Roach v. Prudential Insurance, Civil No. 2:00-CV-00239, Utah Federal District Court Judge Dee Benson, in reviewing Prudential’s request to dismiss the case stated, ". . . I may be tempted in a case like this to find that [Ms. Roach] in my view is disabled, candidly. It seems like there is a very good case here to be made for her disability, but in light of this standard . . . my job is only to see if there was some rational basis to support this even if I don’t agree with it. . . . [I]t seems like this system is harsher than our judicial system . . . [I]t would be nice in an ideal world if someone could go back to Prudential and say ‘do you want to take another look at this? I don’t think she is faking it here.’"

Prudential’s own attorney, Mr. Jon C. Martinson, of Fabian and Clendenin, stated, "[W]e need to remember that under [ERISA’s] arbitrary and capricious standard the Court affords the administrator’s discretion in their review based on the administrative record. We are not here to determine whether [Ms. Roach] was disabled under our understanding. . . . I don’t think any of us does not sympathize with [Ms. Roach] . . . The law requires us to make a counterintuitive decision in this case . . . It is not our call and it is not the District Court’s call and it is not the Tenth Circuit’s call. . . . [T]he way [ERISA] is now we’re going to have to trade unfortunate and hopefully rare situations like this for overall efficiency."

Therefore, in most cases, as noted in local Attorney Brian S. King’s, "How ERISA Plan Administrators and Fiduciaries Make a Plaintiffs Lawyer’s Life Easier," 45 in order to litigate and win a denial of benefits, it is more a matter of exploiting mistakes, and not whether "the claimant [is] disabled."

This is a curious thing. It is probable that insurance company’s would never tolerate a system to resolve disputes between them and their insured in which the insured had the exclusive right to resolve the dispute and be upheld so long as the insured’s decision was reasonable. Why is it then fair to allow insurance companies this same pleasure? It is hard to imagine how any person, entity or government would ever find such a system to be acceptable. It is most likely that this has been allowed under ERISA because few care about or find themselves a member of this small underclass and politically powerless group of individuals who are disabled and denied benefits.

VI. Adding Insult to Injury

A. What the Plan Administrator and/or Insurance Company Giveth, It Taketh Away

To add insult to injury, under ERISA employers are allowed to cancel insurance programs outright even after an employee has worked for years for a company, paid premiums for disability coverage through their employment, and gone out on disability. ERISA allows companies to terminate disability benefits because they are neither vested nor accrued.46 This is because Congress determined that vesting requirements for welfare plans, "would seriously complicate the administration and increase the cost of plans whose primary function is to provide retirement income."47 Instead, Congress intended employers to be free to create, modify, or terminate the terms and conditions of employee welfare benefit plans as inflation, changes in medical practice and technology, and the costs of treatment dictate.48

B. Purchasing Swamp Land On Mars.

The final injustices in ERISA disability plans are their offset provisions. Most, if not all ERISA Plans offset any benefit awarded by entitlements from other sources. For instance, if a claimant gets $1000 a month in Social Security Disability benefits, this amount will offset the monthly ERISA Plan disability benefit. Consequently, if the monthly disability benefit is $1000 or less, no disability benefit will be paid unless there is a Plan provision that provides for a minimum benefit. Some plans have such minimums (usually $100) but many do not. Hence, many employees’ premiums may as well have been spent buying real estate on Mars.

VII Conclusion

It is hard to conceive of any knowledgeable advocate who would voluntarily agree to submit a client’s dispute for determination in a process in which the opponent was granted all the advantages that ERISA gives insurance companies in a disability benefits dispute. So why does any respectable member of the bar, legislature or judiciary subscribe to any notion that ERISA is anything more that an abomination and affront to our collective sense of justice and in effect a license to Cheat, Lie and Steal for the Disability Insurance Industry?

Some may cry that this article sets unnecessarily alarmist tone. However, a recent Georgetown University Health Policy Institute conducted a study found that under the arbitrary and capricious standard of review, the insured prevailed in only 28.4% and when the court applied a de novo standard of review, the insured prevailed 65.9% of the time. Also, not surprisingly, as discussed in a law review article,49 a 1995 internal memorandum from Provident Insurance Company revealed that ERISA provided huge economic advantages to the insurance industry especially due to the application of the deferential standard of review and that had ERISA applied to12 claims that where we settled for $7.8 million in the aggregate, Unum’s liability would have been between zero and $0.5 million. There are also, hundreds of punitive damage cases that have demonstrated the insurance companies will go to great lengths to manipulate claims to defraud their insurers. None of these cases would have likely come to light under ERISA.

To restore justice to this area of law, I call upon all fair minded members of our citizenry to end that injustice before you or someone you know or love is the next victim of its efficiency.

1. See 29 U.S.C. § 1001 et seq.
2. 29 U.S.C. § 1002(1); see Donovan v. Dillingham, 688 F.2d 1367, 1371 (11th Cir.
1982).
3. Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. v. Bruch, 489 U.S. 101, 113, 109 S. Ct. 948, 956 (1989)
(citations and quotations omitted); see also 29 U.S.C. 1001 (listing the congressional
findings and declaration of policy regarding ERISA); Dixon v. Life Ins. Co. of N. Am.,
389 F.3d 1179, 1184 (11th Cir. 2004) ("ERISA's purpose [is] to promote the interests of
employees and their beneficiaries.").
4. 27 Corpus Juris Secundum §2b
5. Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. v. Bruch, 489 U.S. 101, 109 S.Ct. 948, 103 L.Ed.2d 80
(1989)
6. Firestone, 489 U.S. at 115, 109 S.Ct. 948.
7. Due to the case law established in Firestone, most insurance companies through the
Plan Administrators have, by the stroke of a pen, granted themselves discretionary
authority and it is rare that the de novo standard of review, which allow the claimant more
parity, applies.
8. Id.
9. E.g., Allison v. UNUM Life Ins. Co. of Am., 381 F.3d 1015, 1021 (10th Cir. 2004); and
see Chambers v. Family Health Plan Corp., 100 F.3d 818, 823-824 (10th Cir. 1996);
Sandoval v. Aetna Life and Cas. Ins. Co., 967 F.2d 377, 380-81 (10th Cir. 1992).
10. Sandoval, 967 F.2d at 823-24.
11. Sandoval, 967 F.2d at 380.
12. To increase the probability of success, a claimant should provide all helpful medical
information, obtain expert evaluations by medical and vocational specialist, submit
videotaped interviews, and when relevant, obtain employment records.
13. Many attorneys are willing to take these cases on a contingency basis.
14. Adamson, 455 F.3d at 1212.
15. Woolsey v. Marion Labs., Inc., 934 F.2d 1452, 1460 (10th Cir. 1991); see also Adamson,
455 F.3d at 1212 ("A lack of substantial evidence often indicates an arbitrary and capricious
decision. Substantial evidence is of the sort that a reasonable mind could accept as sufficient to
support a conclusion. Substantial evidence means more than a scintilla, of course, yet less than a
preponderance.") (citations omitted).
16. Woolsey, 934 F.2d at 1460 (quoting Oster v. Barco of Cal. Employees’ Ret. Plan, 869
F.2d 1215, 1218 (9th Cir. 1988)). Rather, "[t]he reviewing court ‘need only assure that
the administrator’s decision fall[s] somewhere on a continuum of reasonableness—even if
on the low end.’" Kimber v. Thiokol Corp., 196 F.3d 1092, 1098 (10th Cir. 1999)
(quoting Vega v. Nat’l Life Ins. Servs., Inc., 188 F.3d 287, 297 (5th Cir. 1999))
(alteration in original).
17. 169 F.3d 1287, 1289, (10th Cir. 1999).
18. 196 F.3d 1092 (10th Cir. 1999).
19. Jones at 1291.
20. Fought v. UNUM Life Ins. Co. of America, 379 F.3d 997, 1006 (10th Cir. 2004)
21. Allison v. Unum, 381 F.3d at 1021 (10th Cir. 2004)
22. Id.
23. Nichols v. Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., 259 F. Supp. 2d 1213,1221 (D. UT 2003)
24. In Nichols v. Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., 259 F. Supp. 2d 1213 (D. UT 2003) the Utah
Federal District court, allowed discovery on the issue of conflict of interest in a sliding
scale arbitrary and capricious standard of review case when Plaintiff had requested
discovery during the claim review process and defendant refused to answer. In Nichols
the court stated, "Plaintiff is permitted . . . to seek discovery on the narrow issue of
whether a conflict of interest exists between the Plan Administrator of the plan and Wal-
Mart Stores, Inc., the plan sponsor" (emphasis in original). Id. at 1222.
25. Fought v. UNUM Life Ins. Co. of America, 379 F.3d 997, 1003 (10th Cir. 2004)
26. Adamson v. UNUM Life Ins. Co. of Am., 455 F.3d 1209, 1212 (10th Cir. 2006) ("We
do note that where a ‘standard’ conflict of interest exists, the Plan Administrator’s
decision is entitled to less deference, and the standard conflict is regarded ‘as one factor
in determining whether the Plan Administrator’s denial of benefits was arbitrary and
capricious.’") (quoting Fought, 379 F.3d at 1005)
27. Firestone, 489 U.S. at 115 (quoting Restatement (Second) of Trusts § 187 cmt. d (1959))
(alteration in original).
28. Fought, 379 F.3d at 1004 ("‘[T]he reviewing court will always apply an arbitrary and
capricious standard, but the court must decrease the level of deference given to the conflicted
administrator’s decision in proportion to the seriousness of the conflict.’") (quoting Chambers v.
Family Health Plan Corp., 100 F.3d 818, 825 (10th Cir. 1996)).
29. Adamson, 455 F.3d at 1213 (emphasis added).
30. 491 F.3d 1180 (10th Cir. 2007)
31. See, e.g., DeFelice v. Am. Int'l Life Assurance Co. of N.Y., 112 F.3d 61, 65-67 (2d
Cir. 1997) (allowing the use of extra evidence if the Plan Administrator has a conflict of
interest); Mongeluzo v. Baxter Travenol Long Term Disability Benefit Plan, 46 F.3d 938,
943-44 (9th Cir. 1995) (allowing the use of extra evidence where the Plan Administrator
incorrectly interpreted the plan); Casey v. Uddeholm Corp., 32 F.3d 1094, 1098-99 (7th
Cir. 1994) (allowing a district court to consider additional evidence where the Plan
Administrator has made no fact-finding himself); S. Farm Bureau Life Ins. Co. v. Moore,
993 F.2d 98, 101-02 (5th Cir. 1993) (allowing the admission of extra evidence with
regards to plan interpretation by the administrator, but not with regards to the finding of
historical facts by the administrator); Donatelli v. Home Ins. Co., 992 F.2d 763, 765 (8th
Cir. 1993) (leaving the question of whether to admit extra evidence to the discretion of
the district court where there is "good cause" to admit additional information in order to
provide "adequate" review); Quesinberry v. Life Ins. Co. of N. Am., 987 F.2d 1017,
1021-27 (4th Cir. 1993) (en banc) (leaving the question of whether to admit extra
evidence to the discretion of the district court when it finds that exceptional
circumstances have been met and listing some of those circumstances); Luby v.
Teamsters Health, Welfare & Pension Trust Funds, 944 F.2d 1176, 1184-85 (3d Cir.
1991) (stating that the decision to admit additional evidence is within the district court's
discretion and was permissible in this case because there was no evidentiary record).
32. Id.
33. Id.
34. 508 F.3d 1303, 1309, 1311 (Fed. 10th Cir. 2007)
35. 300 F.3d 1197 (10th Circuit 2002)
36. Id at 1202.
37. Waggener v. UNUM Life Ins. Co. Of America, 238 F.Supp.2d 1179, 1187 (S.D.Cal.
2002).
38. Id.
39. 538 U.S. 822, 834 (2003)
40. Aluminum Industries v. Egan, 22 N.E. 2d 459, 462, 61 Ohio App. Ct. 111
41. 81 Am Jur § 771
42. 98 Corpus Juris Secundum §44.
43. 5 J. Wigmore, Evidence, § 1367 (Chadbourn Rev.1974)
44. Crawford v. Washington, 541 U.S. 36, 61-62, 124 S.Ct. 1354, 158 L.Ed.2d 177
(2004).
45. Panther v. Synthes, 380 F. Supp. 2d 1198, 1207 n.9 (D. Kan. 2005)
46. Utah Trial Journal, Volume 30, No. 3. page 6-8.
47. Phillips v. Amoco Oil Co., 799 F.2d 1464, 1471 (11th Cir.1986), cert. denied, 481
U.S. 1016, 107 S.Ct. 1893, 95 L.Ed.2d 500 (1987). Unlike pension benefits, welfare
benefit plans neither vest nor accrue. See 29 U.S.C. § 1051(1); Vasseur v. Halliburton
Co., 950 F.2d 1002, 1006 (5th Cir.1992); Hozier v. Midwest Fasteners, Inc., 908 F.2d
1155, 1160 (3rd Cir.1990).
48. H.R.Rep. No. 807, 93rd Cong., 2d Sess. 60, reprinted in 1974 U.S.C.C.A.N. 4639,
4670, 4726; S.Rep. No. 383, 93rd Cong., 1st Sess. 51 reprinted in 1974 U.S.C.C.A.N.
4890, 4935.
49. Moore v. Metropolitan Life Ins. Co., 856 F.2d 488, 492 (2nd Cir.1988); see also
Metropolitan Life Ins. Co. Arrow v. Massachusetts, 471 U.S. 724, 732, 105 S.Ct. 2380,
2385, 85 L.Ed.2d 728 (1985) (ERISA "does not regulate the substantive content of
welfare-benefit plans").
50. "Trust Law as Regulatory Law: The Scandal and Judicial Review of Benefit Denials
Under ERISA," Northwestern University Law Review, Vol. 101, p. 1315 (2007),
Professor John H. Langbein, Sterling Professor of Law and Legal History, Yale
University, at page 1321;
http://www.law.northwestern.edu/lawreview/vl01/n3/1315/LR101n3Langbein.pdf