So you know, many would accuse me of being exploitive and unnecessarily sensational for what I’m about to say and they would be dead to rights yet I couldn’t think of a better analogy.
My psychologist friends would be familiar with this malady that I came to witness when a potential client, years ago, wanted to sue his/her employer for sexual harassment and for creating a sexually hostile work environment.
His/her complaint was that his/her supervisors and co-workers were almost constantly and without remorse or any sense of circumspection literally flooding the work place with graphic and visual depictions of the male genitalia and female mammary glands. To impress upon my mind the vast extent of this prurient depravity, he proceeded to extract from the tripple - layered plastic Wal-mart grocery sacks he substituted for a suitcase and multipurpose filing cabinet, numerous photographs of the offending materials.
While a few photographs seemed, if viewed at a great distance through cataracts, to resemble these less frequently viewed and most cherished and at the same time reviled body parts, it soon became evident that if this poor soul’s coworker had vomited up a pile of glass shards or had accidentally crushed an arm in a metal press, he/she would have, therein envisioned depicted, all the sensual carnalities ever imagined by men (and a few women), and enough breasts and penises for use by all the world's cosmetic plastic surgeons for time and all eternity to emulate as worthy models in their artisian surgeries.
This person’s chronic mental health condition was not unlike the same condition that beset the early explorers, who, mostly male, the further along on their journeys in time and geography they got, started naming all mountain formations after females and their body parts. One notable example are the Grand Tetons, a frence name, which in English would be the Grand Tits or Grand Breasts or Grand Mammary Glands. (We need to reciprocate and see if one of the French Alps could be named the Grand Tits and see if that sounds as neat to them as the Grand Tetons do to us).
In the same vein, just as this past potential client of mine tended to see male genitalia and female mamary glands in all he/she saw, some of my conservative friends, for some reason, somehow see every idea, comment or breath from someone who does not bear the Fox News or Glen Beck conservative stamp of approval as a leftie conspiracy to bring upon them the totalitarian apocalypse.
Case in point, I made a recent post below that was about littering and it was deemed proof of a leftie conpiracy. Polluting and littering are not liftie, liberal, or progressive issues. It’s littering. It's polluting. Both are forms of theft that steal our money not in an in-your-face robbery but an after-the-fact embezzlement. This post concerned three post-prubescent girls littering up Big Cottonwood Canyon. So you know, I hate it just a much when I see slobs at Gold’s leave their water bottles, packaging and used Q-tips on the floor, or those who go to games with their fat spouses (or skinny) and pack of loud (or quiet) brats and leave all their trash behind in the stadium. I go out of my way to pick up trash at Golds and other places because they too are sacred to me, just like the canyons are, even though they are privately owned.
I don’t want to spend my money on higher taxes, higher gym fees or higher game ticket fees (or higher private park entrance fees) because other slobs and their progeny want other people to pick up their garbage. I don’t want to spend money on cleaning up a world that is suffocating under our filth because we can’t get our scat together to begin with. Why isn’t that every bodies issue? Why is it a liftie issue?
Maybe it is just because I am the messenger. After all I am a Pirate and not a card carrying conservative. But don’t let me get in the way of my message. Yes, and regarding my post below, the simultaneous thought and comment that I and my fellow Pirate (Mansour Aryazand) had was that the littering Bimbos may have hucked their garbage (while they thought they were out of sight) possibly to spite us because I had earlier suggested they had accidentally dropped their garbage and got them to pick it up. And I, in fact, have met lots of stupid, ignorant people who when called on their crap–whether it’s slobbish, repulsive, rude, ignorant or criminal behavior, will simply engage in additional stupid behavior just to spite the world. But should that stop us from pointing out the wrongs we see and trying to change it? Let’s face it, it’s hard to figure out a way to get through to such people but get through we must.
So, borrowing and paraphrasing the words of my fellow favorite and famous Pirate, Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of the Caribbean:
“The only rules that really matter are these: what a people can do and what a people can't do. For instance, you can accept that your fellow sojourners here are pirates and yet still capable of much good or you can't. But pirate is in your blood and that of your fellow men, boy/girl, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you all be stupid and soil your bed, but I can't bring this earth into the next century all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you and those you associate with stop polluting and throwing all your junk around and sail under the suggestion of a pirate, or can you not?"
Loren M. Lambert © May 27, 2014
My psychologist friends would be familiar with this malady that I came to witness when a potential client, years ago, wanted to sue his/her employer for sexual harassment and for creating a sexually hostile work environment.
His/her complaint was that his/her supervisors and co-workers were almost constantly and without remorse or any sense of circumspection literally flooding the work place with graphic and visual depictions of the male genitalia and female mammary glands. To impress upon my mind the vast extent of this prurient depravity, he proceeded to extract from the tripple - layered plastic Wal-mart grocery sacks he substituted for a suitcase and multipurpose filing cabinet, numerous photographs of the offending materials.
While a few photographs seemed, if viewed at a great distance through cataracts, to resemble these less frequently viewed and most cherished and at the same time reviled body parts, it soon became evident that if this poor soul’s coworker had vomited up a pile of glass shards or had accidentally crushed an arm in a metal press, he/she would have, therein envisioned depicted, all the sensual carnalities ever imagined by men (and a few women), and enough breasts and penises for use by all the world's cosmetic plastic surgeons for time and all eternity to emulate as worthy models in their artisian surgeries.
This person’s chronic mental health condition was not unlike the same condition that beset the early explorers, who, mostly male, the further along on their journeys in time and geography they got, started naming all mountain formations after females and their body parts. One notable example are the Grand Tetons, a frence name, which in English would be the Grand Tits or Grand Breasts or Grand Mammary Glands. (We need to reciprocate and see if one of the French Alps could be named the Grand Tits and see if that sounds as neat to them as the Grand Tetons do to us).
In the same vein, just as this past potential client of mine tended to see male genitalia and female mamary glands in all he/she saw, some of my conservative friends, for some reason, somehow see every idea, comment or breath from someone who does not bear the Fox News or Glen Beck conservative stamp of approval as a leftie conspiracy to bring upon them the totalitarian apocalypse.
Case in point, I made a recent post below that was about littering and it was deemed proof of a leftie conpiracy. Polluting and littering are not liftie, liberal, or progressive issues. It’s littering. It's polluting. Both are forms of theft that steal our money not in an in-your-face robbery but an after-the-fact embezzlement. This post concerned three post-prubescent girls littering up Big Cottonwood Canyon. So you know, I hate it just a much when I see slobs at Gold’s leave their water bottles, packaging and used Q-tips on the floor, or those who go to games with their fat spouses (or skinny) and pack of loud (or quiet) brats and leave all their trash behind in the stadium. I go out of my way to pick up trash at Golds and other places because they too are sacred to me, just like the canyons are, even though they are privately owned.
I don’t want to spend my money on higher taxes, higher gym fees or higher game ticket fees (or higher private park entrance fees) because other slobs and their progeny want other people to pick up their garbage. I don’t want to spend money on cleaning up a world that is suffocating under our filth because we can’t get our scat together to begin with. Why isn’t that every bodies issue? Why is it a liftie issue?
Maybe it is just because I am the messenger. After all I am a Pirate and not a card carrying conservative. But don’t let me get in the way of my message. Yes, and regarding my post below, the simultaneous thought and comment that I and my fellow Pirate (Mansour Aryazand) had was that the littering Bimbos may have hucked their garbage (while they thought they were out of sight) possibly to spite us because I had earlier suggested they had accidentally dropped their garbage and got them to pick it up. And I, in fact, have met lots of stupid, ignorant people who when called on their crap–whether it’s slobbish, repulsive, rude, ignorant or criminal behavior, will simply engage in additional stupid behavior just to spite the world. But should that stop us from pointing out the wrongs we see and trying to change it? Let’s face it, it’s hard to figure out a way to get through to such people but get through we must.
So, borrowing and paraphrasing the words of my fellow favorite and famous Pirate, Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of the Caribbean:
“The only rules that really matter are these: what a people can do and what a people can't do. For instance, you can accept that your fellow sojourners here are pirates and yet still capable of much good or you can't. But pirate is in your blood and that of your fellow men, boy/girl, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you all be stupid and soil your bed, but I can't bring this earth into the next century all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you and those you associate with stop polluting and throwing all your junk around and sail under the suggestion of a pirate, or can you not?"
Loren M. Lambert © May 27, 2014
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