Why North Americans Hate Dandelions and Prefer Grass Lawns

North Americans hate dandelions and prefer monospecific grass lawns for these reasons: 1) humans have a genetic, inherent, instinctive and visceral animus toward anything that is as tenacious, ubiquitous and successful as we are, 2) because the communists, in a infernal and insidious plot, long ago planted the idea that a monospecific grass lawn was the bees knees, desirable over all earth's other greenery and 3) in the early Edenic language Bible, it was not the serpent that beguiled Eve, but the bowerbird which God banished to Australia after he threw Eve and Adam out of the Garden of Eden when Adam, (in order to please Eve after her mind had been beguiled and polluted by the bowerbird), started logging large expanses of the Garden and planting monospecific lawns and learning how to golf.