Oklahoma–The Musical That Should Be Retired

Disclaimer: this is satire and over the top hyperbole--

yet there is often true sentiment expressed in satire

I got to see “Oklahoma,” at the Hale Theater. They did a great job. The middle dream sequence vocals and dancing were exquisitely beautiful. The leads were supurb. The actress who played Ado Annie could carry the show by herself. The actors had amazing voices and were all talented dancers. The energy was captivating. Yet this play has always bugged me. It should be retired or gussied up a bit, and not just because I have “Oh the cowboy and farmer should be friends,” stuck in my head on repeat. Let me explain why through the use of its iconic song, Oklahoma:

There's never been a better time to start in life-
If you aint’ too dark and you are completely white!
Starting as a farmer with the purchase of a wife-
Soon be livin' in a brand new state!
Brand new state - where there’s nothing to debate!
Gonna bring one dimensional characters,
Jokes for your bias, spite and tormentors,
A few tales of whoring where the cowboys zoom,
Plen'y of meanness, plen'y of room,
Plen'y of room to swing a rope!
Big fat noose its kinda just dope.

OOOOk-lahoma, where the dance and vocals hide the pain,
Where a cowboy’s whore lives next door,
and the stereotypes are really quite inane

OOOOk-lahoma, where a Persian man and a hired hand
are there to be mocked by the cowboy jock,
makin nooses for his petty plan.

We know we belong to the “man” (yo-ho)
And the women we purchase are grand!
And when we say
Yeeow! Aye-yip-aye-yo-ee-ay!
We're only sayin'
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!
Oklahoma KO!

Repeat.

Loren M. Lambert © Sept. 14, 2015