There have been several beliefs and convictions that I have held that I had no idea were radical until I bumped up, unwittingly, against the informative masses of recent times. Examples are: concern for the environment, admiration for higher education, respect for teachers and law enforcement, showering after gym class, cleaning up after oneself and paying taxes.
While listening to a book review on NPR today, I learned that "seated-male-urination" is apparently a radical feminist imposition. I realize that this subject may not be in good taste, but I have been an adherent to this practice instituted by feminazis for years. Who would have known? I swear on a stack of all things manly, including my father's jock strap and Mennen's deodorant, that no woman forced me to adopt this apparently anti-masculine practice. I just started this technique and habit when I became aware that neither I, nor many other males, were talented enough, nor were urine-receptacle (formally known as the john, wc, toilett, etc.) designs advanced enough, nor were "exit points" close enough to the collecting surface to ensure, without fail, that we could to live up to the not-a-drop-outside the catch basin rule.
Yet, I suspect that, if for whatever reason, urine-receptacle design or voiding method, caused females to pee all over the floor and that could be remedied by a adjustment in voiding methods or techniques, it would not be deemed by males or females to be a "male-ist" imposition on females to adopt the technique.
So, in conclusion, I would think that generally it's not too much to ask, that whatever your method, position, flow volume, flow speed, basin-to-exit-point-distance is, just make sure that your body's "exhaust" finds its way to where it should go. Then if, for whatever reason, you don't accomplish this goal and you refuse to make the adjustment to a seated position out of fear someone may peek in at you and think you've caved into feminazism and you have a penchant for drenching, dousing, spraying, misting or even lightly spritzing areas outside the catch basin with your effluent, do what any modern civilized person would, male or female--quickly and quietly make a bee line out of there so no-one knows you're a klutz or a dolt.
Or, maybe, just maybe, do the right thing and take a little tissue and get rid of the evidence (and then please, wash your hands) and next time adjust to seated-male-urination. It has not ruined females and will not ruin you.
Loren M. Lambert
Sept. 1, 2014 ©
While listening to a book review on NPR today, I learned that "seated-male-urination" is apparently a radical feminist imposition. I realize that this subject may not be in good taste, but I have been an adherent to this practice instituted by feminazis for years. Who would have known? I swear on a stack of all things manly, including my father's jock strap and Mennen's deodorant, that no woman forced me to adopt this apparently anti-masculine practice. I just started this technique and habit when I became aware that neither I, nor many other males, were talented enough, nor were urine-receptacle (formally known as the john, wc, toilett, etc.) designs advanced enough, nor were "exit points" close enough to the collecting surface to ensure, without fail, that we could to live up to the not-a-drop-outside the catch basin rule.
Yet, I suspect that, if for whatever reason, urine-receptacle design or voiding method, caused females to pee all over the floor and that could be remedied by a adjustment in voiding methods or techniques, it would not be deemed by males or females to be a "male-ist" imposition on females to adopt the technique.
So, in conclusion, I would think that generally it's not too much to ask, that whatever your method, position, flow volume, flow speed, basin-to-exit-point-distance is, just make sure that your body's "exhaust" finds its way to where it should go. Then if, for whatever reason, you don't accomplish this goal and you refuse to make the adjustment to a seated position out of fear someone may peek in at you and think you've caved into feminazism and you have a penchant for drenching, dousing, spraying, misting or even lightly spritzing areas outside the catch basin with your effluent, do what any modern civilized person would, male or female--quickly and quietly make a bee line out of there so no-one knows you're a klutz or a dolt.
Or, maybe, just maybe, do the right thing and take a little tissue and get rid of the evidence (and then please, wash your hands) and next time adjust to seated-male-urination. It has not ruined females and will not ruin you.
Loren M. Lambert
Sept. 1, 2014 ©
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