Monday, April 1, 2019

Shoulder Harness Spine Unloading Dances for Seniors

Entrepreneurs of America, listen to this: After being put in a shoulder sling (extending from the physical therapist’s ceiling) to unload my spine, I felt a longing to do the hula, watusie, and imaginary bump with my butt on an exercise ball for therapy for my jammed-up sciatica, but I couldn’t help think, “This is the wave of the future – my future: senior rock dances, shoulder slings to unload the spine, a little mirror ball, dark lights, some garish red lipstick on your age-bleached gal, some rock & roll, maybe a little Viagra (No! I'll never need it!), little squirt guns with florescent non-toxic liquid, and – viola! – high school romance all over again!”

Of course, then we need someone to untangle the shoulder slings as we whirl around each other – or just let us unwind, sending our dentures, like missiles – into the wall-flower section.

Loren M. Lambert © September 5, 2013

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