Saturday, July 6, 2019

Another Vice Burdens My Event Horizon

With the sun rising up in the morning sky, the moon taking its bow in the same, I realized another big burden I've given my life: I see too much.

So much beauty! There has to be a consequence.

Can one take it all in, day after day, week after week, year after year, and never think there is no price to pay? It all enthralls me, its saps me, it takes me in:

Every slow, burgeoning, full-of-promise dawn; every varied, newly minted, second-by-second sunset; every cloud-draped, dappled mountain; every dazzling dancing chromatic-enshrined creature; every child’s beaming, full-of-hope-wonder-and-promise face; every resilient, anxious, undaunted, energy-packed, see-no-barriers teen; every slinking, sensuous woman strutting the confidence of her intelligently sculpted brick house; every rippling, raw, visceral male pounding out his presence; and every sacred wild place of water, stone, weather, wind, flora, fauna, fire, ice, and light.

It effuses my every synapse, pore, and fiber. It brings purpose to every bead of sweat, beat of my heart, and gulp of water. It stops me in my tracks, it drops me to my knees, it tears up my eyes, it propels me into uttering this insuppressible prayer – that I am small, that I am nothing, that I am fleeting, but that I, too, am forever great for what I have been fortunate to be a part of, to have taken it all in with these two gifts, these always inquisitive and irrepressible eyes.

So, what is the price? I have been told, taught, and warned that such an all-encompassing addiction has to have its consequence. I fear the reckoning, for I am sight’s lowliest slave, for I cannot quench the thirst of these eyes. I see too much, too far, too close, and too wide.

Yes, I am addicted to sight. God forgive me this trespass for my desire to let nothing of beauty escape these eyes.

Loren M. Lambert © January 21, 2014

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