I attended a talk by Bruce C. Hafen, Quorum of the Seventy, Emeritus, on traditional marriage. He discussed how traditional marriage is a societal interest that must be balanced against individual interest so that a man and woman become equal partners in an interdependent relationship. (Except in passing, he did not discuss gay marriage, etc.)
Frankly, I agree with the concept and ideal of marriage. He spoke of its core meaning and ideal, which represents a man and a woman joined together to form a union based on love, duty, dedication, commitment, honor, and sacrifice. He expressed that such a union provides a foundation that exponentially benefits its offspring and thereby all of society. This rings true to my heart.
He spoke of the cultural currents in the law and general mores that are distractions to this concept of marriage. I also think there is some merit to these observations, because it is a tricky thing striking balance between individual liberty and societal responsibility to something bigger than ourselves.
However, what I think needs to be realized is that while we may have modified the law to accommodate the realities of human nature, and perhaps have diminished this institution, we also have, unnecessarily, festooned upon civil marriage, privileges that have nothing to do with love, duty, dedication, commitment, honor, and sacrifice, but have merely created inequalities that were detrimental to the aspirations of others. Furthermore, relationships based on love, duty, dedication, commitment, honor, and sacrifice are not necessarily exclusive to Elder Hafen's concept of traditional marriage.
For this reason, if the religious want to save their concept of marriage, then it should be an institution wholly ceded to religion. Let the religious celebrate it and endow it with the meaning it preaches it is due, and let government provide civil unions to all who desire them.
Elder Hafen also quoted statistics on marriage and divorce rates. What puzzles me about such statistics is I'm not sure how those statistics can show a direct correlation with what actually happens between the two people – either to those married, those divorced, and those who choose a common law marriage without the sanction of the government over their union.
Elder Hafen also intimated that there was some golden age of marriage. My question is: When was it, and where?
Loren M. Lambert © February 2, 2014
Frankly, I agree with the concept and ideal of marriage. He spoke of its core meaning and ideal, which represents a man and a woman joined together to form a union based on love, duty, dedication, commitment, honor, and sacrifice. He expressed that such a union provides a foundation that exponentially benefits its offspring and thereby all of society. This rings true to my heart.
He spoke of the cultural currents in the law and general mores that are distractions to this concept of marriage. I also think there is some merit to these observations, because it is a tricky thing striking balance between individual liberty and societal responsibility to something bigger than ourselves.
However, what I think needs to be realized is that while we may have modified the law to accommodate the realities of human nature, and perhaps have diminished this institution, we also have, unnecessarily, festooned upon civil marriage, privileges that have nothing to do with love, duty, dedication, commitment, honor, and sacrifice, but have merely created inequalities that were detrimental to the aspirations of others. Furthermore, relationships based on love, duty, dedication, commitment, honor, and sacrifice are not necessarily exclusive to Elder Hafen's concept of traditional marriage.
For this reason, if the religious want to save their concept of marriage, then it should be an institution wholly ceded to religion. Let the religious celebrate it and endow it with the meaning it preaches it is due, and let government provide civil unions to all who desire them.
Elder Hafen also quoted statistics on marriage and divorce rates. What puzzles me about such statistics is I'm not sure how those statistics can show a direct correlation with what actually happens between the two people – either to those married, those divorced, and those who choose a common law marriage without the sanction of the government over their union.
Elder Hafen also intimated that there was some golden age of marriage. My question is: When was it, and where?
Loren M. Lambert © February 2, 2014
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