It probably happened like this: In 1933, Kraft product development whizzes sat in their food development chamber, scheming:
Kraft R & D Director: "Let's see--Hellmann’s/Best Foods mayonnaise has had absolutely no competitor in the market, since 1905. How do we come up with the miracle to create a cheaper product, and to compete and thereby take over the world mayo market?”
Kraft R & D Scientist: “What do people really love? What do kids, especially, really love? Only one answer: sugar. So, let's whip a bunch of sugar into our mayonnaise.”
Kraft R & D Director: “ Brilliant! What should we call it?”
Kraft R & D Marketer: “Miracle Whip!
This was the beginning of the end. This is why almost every processed food and everything you buy at a restaurant contains a bunch of sugar, and why America is the most obese nation in the world, with the highest rate of diabetes. You owe it all to Miracle Whip.
That is why I knew there was something sinister when I bit into my first Miracle Whip sandwich as a kid. That is why I hate modern cuisine.
I do not like Miracle Whip. I do not want all my food to taste like dessert anymore than I want people to run around naked all the time. There is a time for sugar and there is a time to refrain from sugar. There is a time for nakedness and a time to refrain from nakedness.
We need more nakedness and less sugar in the world – at least in its proper place and in proper proportions.
Loren M. Lambert © December 20, 2013
Kraft R & D Director: "Let's see--Hellmann’s/Best Foods mayonnaise has had absolutely no competitor in the market, since 1905. How do we come up with the miracle to create a cheaper product, and to compete and thereby take over the world mayo market?”
Kraft R & D Scientist: “What do people really love? What do kids, especially, really love? Only one answer: sugar. So, let's whip a bunch of sugar into our mayonnaise.”
Kraft R & D Director: “ Brilliant! What should we call it?”
Kraft R & D Marketer: “Miracle Whip!
This was the beginning of the end. This is why almost every processed food and everything you buy at a restaurant contains a bunch of sugar, and why America is the most obese nation in the world, with the highest rate of diabetes. You owe it all to Miracle Whip.
That is why I knew there was something sinister when I bit into my first Miracle Whip sandwich as a kid. That is why I hate modern cuisine.
I do not like Miracle Whip. I do not want all my food to taste like dessert anymore than I want people to run around naked all the time. There is a time for sugar and there is a time to refrain from sugar. There is a time for nakedness and a time to refrain from nakedness.
We need more nakedness and less sugar in the world – at least in its proper place and in proper proportions.
Loren M. Lambert © December 20, 2013
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