Dear Fashion Angel,
Every winter my cuticles turn to uglycles, no matter what I do. I've tried putting the collar of shame on my wrists so I wouldn't forget to not use my fingers, wrapping them up in authentic, Egyptian mummy linen strips, covering them with wax, placing band-aids on them, sticking them in my mouth at night while sleeping, slathering them in lanolin, and using great-hairy-gray-moose-mucker droppings (also known as Great Blue Heron poop [I don’t really use it on my uglycles, just my happy lips]).
Nothing seems to work. Should I just move to a temperate climate, or do you have any new things I could try?
Sincerely,
Mister Sore Uglycles.
PS You will be my guardian fashion angel if you can make my cuticles cute, or at least comely, again.
Loren M. Lambert © December 12, 2013
Every winter my cuticles turn to uglycles, no matter what I do. I've tried putting the collar of shame on my wrists so I wouldn't forget to not use my fingers, wrapping them up in authentic, Egyptian mummy linen strips, covering them with wax, placing band-aids on them, sticking them in my mouth at night while sleeping, slathering them in lanolin, and using great-hairy-gray-moose-mucker droppings (also known as Great Blue Heron poop [I don’t really use it on my uglycles, just my happy lips]).
Nothing seems to work. Should I just move to a temperate climate, or do you have any new things I could try?
Sincerely,
Mister Sore Uglycles.
PS You will be my guardian fashion angel if you can make my cuticles cute, or at least comely, again.
Loren M. Lambert © December 12, 2013
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