Monday, September 3, 2018

Breaking News: President Trump Slashes Portion of Speech Honoring FBI Agents Who Uncovered Russian Mafia Plot To Influence Election

After vetting his State of the Union address with Russian Kleptocrat Putin, President Trump deleted this from his speech:

We also have, here, FBI Agent Steven Green. Can you please stand up?  Look at him. What a courageous patsy and patriot – I don't know – one of those, whatever.

Single-handedly, he brought to justice a vicious gang of Russian mafia criminals whose NSA no-travel orders I had accidentally waived, and who (along with local traitors) perpetrated criminal acts to help me get elected, probably working with people who infiltrated my campaign by pretending to like me. 

My only misgiving in granting him this praise is that I thought I was inviting a nice, white, gay of Nordic heritage, instead of a black American with s-hole origins. But, we'll just have to wait and see if we hold that against him, won't we? We'll see.

To show our appreciation, we are going to publicly humiliate him, speak behind his back on Fox News, and reward him with an early retirement. Give it up for TJ!

Loren M. Lambert © January 31, 2018

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