I noticed one of my friend’s posts about her shopping spree with her kids at Victoria’s Secret. What a coincidence! Now, I must share a shopping spree that I experienced:
I went to a free, underwear fitting sale at Dillard’s Department Store and saw several, certified Swedish female fitters.
I really struggled finding the right brand and style to cradle my separately insured jewels and spigot, but these ladies went beyond and above the call of duty and fixed me up with the perfect pairs of underwear.
I settled on the latest, triple support and cooling technology from Calvin Klein. The pair takes into consideration that the male “package” is not just a homogeneous blob – so it stabilizes, positions, and supports, all at the same time, making those embarrassing hot weather and on-the-go adjustments forever a thing of the past!
Moreover, the butt-covering technology has “just-right-Goldilocks-and-the-three-bears” weave that neither squeezes your butt cheeks together into the solid Ayers Rock monolithic dome, nor creeps in and up your crack. I no longer will have to worry about PTSD flashbacks by having to un-snuggie my undies and remember scouts or seventh grade.
Best of all, the nanotechnology cooling system keeps the male “package” at nature’s optimal temperature: two to three degrees below my core body temperature. No longer am I waiting for heaven in the afterlife. It’s all right here – under my Levi's.
Watch out!
Loren M. Lambert © December 30, 2012
I went to a free, underwear fitting sale at Dillard’s Department Store and saw several, certified Swedish female fitters.
I really struggled finding the right brand and style to cradle my separately insured jewels and spigot, but these ladies went beyond and above the call of duty and fixed me up with the perfect pairs of underwear.
I settled on the latest, triple support and cooling technology from Calvin Klein. The pair takes into consideration that the male “package” is not just a homogeneous blob – so it stabilizes, positions, and supports, all at the same time, making those embarrassing hot weather and on-the-go adjustments forever a thing of the past!
Moreover, the butt-covering technology has “just-right-Goldilocks-and-the-three-bears” weave that neither squeezes your butt cheeks together into the solid Ayers Rock monolithic dome, nor creeps in and up your crack. I no longer will have to worry about PTSD flashbacks by having to un-snuggie my undies and remember scouts or seventh grade.
Best of all, the nanotechnology cooling system keeps the male “package” at nature’s optimal temperature: two to three degrees below my core body temperature. No longer am I waiting for heaven in the afterlife. It’s all right here – under my Levi's.
Watch out!
Loren M. Lambert © December 30, 2012
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