The thousands of people who read my post, yesterday, know I enjoyed a fabulous weekend at Bryce Canyon National Park. While there, I was reminded of a serious issue that has been plaguing English speakers for decades: the necessary and long-overdue retirement of many jokes. I’m going to start with just two. But first, the lead up:
Society understands the need to retire what it considers “old.” For instance: Teams retire jerseys and numbers of athletes in order to honor the exceptional skills and prowess that their bearers once demonstrated. Society and businesses retire geriatrics, usually for the life-long service they have provided. Businesses sometimes retire well-paid jerks to rid their trademark of bad publicity; and warships and flags are retired – like some clothes and styles – when they no longer serve the purposes of their creation. All are retired because society has moved on to adore and employ more youthful or useful athletes, employees, CEOs, flags, warships, and jerks.
The same should be done with some lame “jokes.” I submit two for your consideration:
First “joke”: “There is going to be a test after.”
This is said to elicit laughs before presentations, lectures, speeches etc. that are sometimes heavy on information and short on jokes. Last Friday, at Bryce Canyon, it was used after a very good presentation about the stars and the universe. It just detracted from its excellence. After being told that we once lived in caves, the lecturer said, “There is going to be a test after.” I don’t know why people laughed. It is no longer funny. It’s as if a sign was held up, saying, “Polite laughter, now.” Stop it, people, please.
Second “joke”: “If we get any closer we are going to know each other in the biblical sense,” and other variations.
I have heard this said only a spattering of times in crowded buses, rooms, sports events, etc. I have heard it being said mostly by white males who chuckle after saying it. This happened on the crowded shuttle bus to the viewing telescopes, where it was very dark. It’s not funny. It’s the opposite. When I have heard it, I have had the subtle feeling that those stating it would have liked to “know” some of the people within earshot in the biblical sense. Not funny, no not much, not much at all.
So, for the love of Pete, Sally, and comedians everywhere, please retire these two “jokes.” Are there any other contenders?
Loren M. Lambert June 6, 2016 ©
Society understands the need to retire what it considers “old.” For instance: Teams retire jerseys and numbers of athletes in order to honor the exceptional skills and prowess that their bearers once demonstrated. Society and businesses retire geriatrics, usually for the life-long service they have provided. Businesses sometimes retire well-paid jerks to rid their trademark of bad publicity; and warships and flags are retired – like some clothes and styles – when they no longer serve the purposes of their creation. All are retired because society has moved on to adore and employ more youthful or useful athletes, employees, CEOs, flags, warships, and jerks.
The same should be done with some lame “jokes.” I submit two for your consideration:
First “joke”: “There is going to be a test after.”
This is said to elicit laughs before presentations, lectures, speeches etc. that are sometimes heavy on information and short on jokes. Last Friday, at Bryce Canyon, it was used after a very good presentation about the stars and the universe. It just detracted from its excellence. After being told that we once lived in caves, the lecturer said, “There is going to be a test after.” I don’t know why people laughed. It is no longer funny. It’s as if a sign was held up, saying, “Polite laughter, now.” Stop it, people, please.
Second “joke”: “If we get any closer we are going to know each other in the biblical sense,” and other variations.
I have heard this said only a spattering of times in crowded buses, rooms, sports events, etc. I have heard it being said mostly by white males who chuckle after saying it. This happened on the crowded shuttle bus to the viewing telescopes, where it was very dark. It’s not funny. It’s the opposite. When I have heard it, I have had the subtle feeling that those stating it would have liked to “know” some of the people within earshot in the biblical sense. Not funny, no not much, not much at all.
So, for the love of Pete, Sally, and comedians everywhere, please retire these two “jokes.” Are there any other contenders?
Loren M. Lambert June 6, 2016 ©
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