In the last couple of years, my nephew “came out” as gay – just as others have throughout all sides of my family. He wonders why he has to deal with so much hate. My statement to him, and others facing bigotry, is this:
Why is there hate? It starts as fear, then turns into hate by those who want to exploit that fear for power. It’s easier to manipulate people into appointing you as a prophet to lead them, when you designate an enemy to lead them against. In this situation, the power-monger mentality thinks, “I, and only I, know the danger; and only I can protect you from ‘them.’”
If we can convince those who are “open and willing” to confront bigotry with love, clarity, reason, and humility, then the ignorant, resistant, and fearful will follow. This is a perspective that is often missing. I had to undergo my own transformation regarding my understanding of gender orientation; and I must thank people I have known who were different from me, who showed me who they were, with love and patience. They did not disassociate from me when I was not as informed, tolerant, and understanding as I am, now.
Humans possess an innate sense of fear, and reject that which is not similar to them and theirs. They also have the innate capacity to embrace, admire, and value our differences, especially when we can show, through our own actions, that we are not a threat to their differences. Unfortunately, rejecting differences has been constant regarding our many manifestations – color, race, sex, origin, disability, belief, culture, economic class, political affiliation, voice and expression. Had that way of thinking--always and violently rejecting differences – been our overbearing force and drive, we would all look the same--just like starlings, rats, carp and cockroaches.
If we were the same, then we wouldn't be the dynamic species we are. It is our variation, in all its varieties and manifestations, that makes us exponentially resilient and interesting.
I love all of you for your differences, and I take comfort and appreciate all of you for the similarities we have of empathy and of living the golden rule that allows us to be strong together.
Confront others when you must, and know when to be vigilant of your own safety when unexpectedly among the violent and bigoted. Be well, try to love others, work hard, have your own voice, and be an example of courage and strength.
Loren M. Lambert © August 6, 2016
Why is there hate? It starts as fear, then turns into hate by those who want to exploit that fear for power. It’s easier to manipulate people into appointing you as a prophet to lead them, when you designate an enemy to lead them against. In this situation, the power-monger mentality thinks, “I, and only I, know the danger; and only I can protect you from ‘them.’”
If we can convince those who are “open and willing” to confront bigotry with love, clarity, reason, and humility, then the ignorant, resistant, and fearful will follow. This is a perspective that is often missing. I had to undergo my own transformation regarding my understanding of gender orientation; and I must thank people I have known who were different from me, who showed me who they were, with love and patience. They did not disassociate from me when I was not as informed, tolerant, and understanding as I am, now.
Humans possess an innate sense of fear, and reject that which is not similar to them and theirs. They also have the innate capacity to embrace, admire, and value our differences, especially when we can show, through our own actions, that we are not a threat to their differences. Unfortunately, rejecting differences has been constant regarding our many manifestations – color, race, sex, origin, disability, belief, culture, economic class, political affiliation, voice and expression. Had that way of thinking--always and violently rejecting differences – been our overbearing force and drive, we would all look the same--just like starlings, rats, carp and cockroaches.
If we were the same, then we wouldn't be the dynamic species we are. It is our variation, in all its varieties and manifestations, that makes us exponentially resilient and interesting.
I love all of you for your differences, and I take comfort and appreciate all of you for the similarities we have of empathy and of living the golden rule that allows us to be strong together.
Confront others when you must, and know when to be vigilant of your own safety when unexpectedly among the violent and bigoted. Be well, try to love others, work hard, have your own voice, and be an example of courage and strength.
Loren M. Lambert © August 6, 2016
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